Author’s Note

Sometimes love is soft. Sometimes love is shocking.
Sometimes it’s dripping Vaporeon style and flame-kissed Flareon bliss.

This one is for the bold, the mischievous, the Pokémon enthusiasts who know that devotion can be playful, legendary, and—let’s be honest—a little ridiculous.
Read it. Laugh. Squirm. Maybe blush. Definitely feel.

“This isn’t the Pokémon you remember. Definitely not the Pokémon from your childhood.” — Rowan Evans

Vaporeon Drip, Flareon Bliss
Poetry by Rowan Evans

You’re so beautiful,
let me get a Pikachu.
I’ll write you a poem,
show love, so shocking—

I’ll be what you need, Eevee—
do you believe me?
I’ll have you
with that Vaporeon drip,
flame-kissed, Flareon bliss.
Can you feel our connection?
That spark, that Jolteon.

Let me get my money right,
I’ll put that Glaceon, ice on your wrist.
Just invest in me, see the best in me,
and it’s a promise—I won’t Leafeon,
you’ll never be alone.

I’m tapped into your emotions,
it’s a psychic connection.
I’ll know what’s wrong without words—
Espeon, and your darkness doesn’t scare me.
I’ll be honest, I thrive in it, Umbreon.
But my touch, so soothing,
I’ll erase hostile thoughts,
like I’m Sylveon.

Yeah, I’ll love you so hard,
’til your Bulbasaur.
I’m down on my knees,
put your Cloyster on my face—
got you shaking, paralyzed, Lickitung.

Girl, I’m a dog—Growlithe.
Nah, big dawg, Arcanine.
Baby, here’s my Rhyhorn—
for you to Rhydon.
You’re my Nidoqueen,
little Nidorina, Filipina.
I’ll be your Nidoking,
Nidorino, Americano.

Um, fuck that…
I want to be an ex-pat,
so let’s continue…

You play with my Ekans,
turn it into Arbok—
take me to the edge,
freeze, Articuno.

Let’s heat it up, legendary—
Moltres, fire in the sky,
molten desire in my eyes.
Zapdos, shock me through,
lightning strikes while I’m with you.
Listening to you Mew, wild and true.

Keep doing that thing with your tongue—
turn my Onyx into Steelix,
and I’ll Mewtwo.

Let’s take a step back, Slowpoke,
slow your roll, Slowbro.
Shellder on my head, Slowking.
Chill, but don’t stop teasing.

I’ll shape-shift for your comfort,
Ditto devotion.
Just give me a Chansey,
let me play with your Jigglypuffs,
you can play with my Wigglytuff—
til we both feel Blissey,
hearts full, bodies legendary.

Yes… I wrote that. Yes… it’s insane… and yes, it got very wild. But if you want poetry that scorches differently—deep, confessional, and a little broken—wander into [The Library of Ashes]. Leave the Pikachu at the door… or don’t.