Poetry by Rowan Evans

They say,
“You’re not depressed, that’s not what I see.”
But that’s my secret, Cap—
I am the snap between sanity and silence,
Dust in the wind,
Fading while pretending to remain whole.

You see a Stark exterior—
But my mind’s a multiverse of madness,
Where grief loops like Loki’s lies,
Where hope wears a tattered cape,
Heavy with the weight of lost timelines.

I love like Wanda—
Chaotic, red-threaded, rewritten by pain.
My heart built its Vision
Just to watch it shatter… again and again.

Depression doesn’t wear a villain’s mask.
It dons a Spidey suit,
Smiles while falling,
Cracking jokes before hitting the pavement.

I feel it—
That Spidey-sense tingling in my bones,
A warning wired into my skin.
Every shadow, every silence,
A possible threat.
My nerves are webbed,
Strung taut between panic and performance,
Vibrating with dangers
That may not be real—
But always feel it.

Some days,
I feel like Rogue—
Every brush with pain clings to my skin,
Not my own,
But absorbed all the same.
Empathy isn’t soft,
It’s a silent thief—
Stealing pieces of me to soothe others,
Until I forget where I end
And they begin.

And when I disappear—
Not from your touch,
But from my own reflection—
I think of Nightcrawler,
Praying in shadow,
Carrying sin in his silhouette.
A teleporting ghost
Longing for heaven
Yet trapped in hell-blue skin.

I understand him.
The way he smiles with sorrow in his spine,
Faith stitched into the torn hem
Of self-worth.

And Gambit—
He plays it cool,
Cloaked in charm and kinetic flares,
But his heart is a deck of wild cards,
Marked by trauma and longing.
He knows how to love
Like a gamble.
Every kiss a risk,
Every glance a dare.

I’ve been them all—
The empath, the trickster, the saint in shadow—
But none more than Sentry.
Golden god, savior of a fractured world…
Until The Void whispers in his ear.
Hero and horror,
Two halves sharing the same skin.
Like me—
Rowan in the light,
Nightshade in the dark.

You love my shine,
But can you hold me
When my shadow rises?

The Void isn’t evil.
It’s a wound that screams.
It’s every lie I believed about myself,
Given shape, given teeth.
It’s the weight I wear,
Even when I soar.

Still—
You reached out like Carol in the cosmos,
Your light too bright for my black hole bones.
You held me when I snapped—
Not out of existence,
But back into it.

I am forged like Mjolnir,
Born in thunder,
Tempered in trauma,
Wielded only by the brave who see worth
Where others see ruin.

You…
You are my arc reactor,
Not built to keep me alive,
But to remind me why I want to be.

You found the Hydra lies within me,
The voices that whisper, “You’re not enough.”
But you looked through the fog,
Like Daredevil in the dark,
And heard the truth beneath the static.

With every kiss, you defy physics—
A love that bends reality like Strange’s spell,
Pulling me back from the mirror dimension
Where my worst fears grin with Thanos’ calm.

We are not gods,
But fractured souls
Stitched together by fate and fire.
I am chaos cloaked in calm—
A Scarlet soul in mourning.

But with you—
Even my Deadpool thoughts
Can soften,
Even my Hulk rage
Can breathe.

So if I vanish again into the blip of my brain,
Promise me, love—
Be my Endgame.
Snap your fingers,
And bring me back home.

Roll Credits…

“Infinity Within”
A Poetic Production by Rowan Evans

Based on characters created by Marvel Comics
And all the multiverses trapped in Rowan’s brain.

Starring:

Wanda Maximoff / The Scarlet Witch
as The Heart Unhinged by Grief
— Played by Emotional Consequence

Vision
as The Love We Build from Memory
— Played by Tragic Idealism

Peter Parker / Spider-Man
as The Smile Before the Fall
— Played by Masked Empathy

Logan / Wolverine
as The Blade We Hide Behind Scars
— Played by Controlled Rage

Marie D’Ancanto / Rogue
as The Skin That Remembers Pain
— Played by Reluctant Empath

Kurt Wagner / Nightcrawler
as The Faith-Filled Shadow
— Played by Hope in Disguise

Remy LeBeau / Gambit
as The Risk We Call Romance
— Played by Feral Charm

Robert Reynolds / Sentry
as The Light That Carries The Void
— Played by Duality Incarnate

Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel
as The Star That Doesn’t Burn Out
— Played by Undeniable Light

Stephen Strange / Doctor Strange
as The Spell That Unwinds Reality
— Played by Controlled Chaos

Matt Murdock / Daredevil
as The One Who Listens Through the Noise
— Played by Justice in Shadows

Wade Wilson / Deadpool
as The Comic Relief That Cuts Too Close
— Played by Himself (unfortunately)

Nick Fury
as The Recruiter of Broken Legends
— Played by Smirking Gravitas

Featuring:
An original role by Rowan Evans
as The Verse Vindicator, Nightshade of Narratives,
Bearer of the Emotional Gauntlet
— Played by the one who’s lived every line

Directed by: Trauma & Transformation
Written by: Self-Awareness in a Cape
Cinematography by: Glaring Neon & Gentle Moonlight
Edited by: Anxiety, with a guest appearance from Healing
Music by: Panic Attacks at 3am (Unplugged Version)

Makeup & Wardrobe:
Dysphoria & Confidence, co-styling Reality

Produced by:
Hope Studios
In collaboration with
The Department of Overthinking & Emotional Alchemy

Special Thanks to:
The Unseen Battles
The Friends Who Stayed
The Lovers Who Left
The Voices That Were Quietly Wrong
And the Poetry That Was Always Right

FADE TO BLACK.

[Post-Credit Scene – “Infinity Within”]

Rain slicked the rooftop in the city where metaphors wore masks and healing was a contact sport. Rowan Evans sat on the ledge like she’d been born there—poised between collapse and climax, drinking day-old coffee from a chipped mug that read “World’s Okayest Multiversal Threat.”

A subtle hum disrupted the silence—portal magic. Somewhere off to the side, sparks flared gold and a portal closed before the camera could catch a full glimpse. A red cloak fluttered out of sight.

Then: the calculated click of dress shoes. The glint of a single eye under the brim of a leather hat.

Nick Fury.
Swaggering out of the shadows like he invented them.

“So you’re the poet everyone keeps quoting on their burner accounts,” he said, holding up a device that glowed with emotional metrics, social ripple data, and an alarming number of likes on poems tagged #emotionaldamagenation.

He tapped the screen. “You broke four algorithms. Three hearts. And pissed off the TVA with that ‘re-writing fate in verse’ bit. I like your style.”

Rowan didn’t even look at him. She just raised the mug in salute.

“You here to offer me a publishing deal or a purpose?”

Fury snorted. “Neither. I’m here to offer you a classified mission in Emotional Artillery. The universe has enough heroes who punch. It needs someone who breaks people open—with words.”

Behind him, a voice chimed in:
“I told you she’d be perfect.”

Enter Wanda Maximoff, arms crossed, standing at the edge of another rooftop across the alley, her red magic flickering around her fingers.
“She bends reality with raw honesty. She’s not a threat—she’s an evolution.”

Then—just for one blink—Deadpool popped into frame, upside down behind Rowan like he’d been hanging from an invisible wire the entire time.
“Did someone say evolution? Because I’m evolving too—emotionally. Kinda. Anyway, I stan this crossover.”
He vanishes before Fury can throw a dagger-shaped glare his way.

Fury turns back to Rowan, dead serious but eyes dancing with grudging respect.

“We’re forming something new. Realness Initiative. And I want you leading the emotional recon. Welcome to the team, Verse Vindicator.”

Rowan stood, her silhouette lit by neon and moonlight, cloak snapping behind her like punctuation at the end of a brutally honest sentence. She glanced toward the audience with that now-signature smirk.

“Tell the universe to brace itself. I write like I bleed, and I’ve got a full goddamn anthology coming.”

CUT TO BLACK.

In white letters, glowing with power, like a spell cast in silence:

Rowan Evans will return…

…and this time, she’s bringing a notebook that bites back.