Poetry by Rowan Evans

Author’s Note

Done Being Humble III is my unapologetic, playful ode to the chaos, creativity, and sheer joy of writing. It’s a celebration of 22 years of honing my craft, a nod to my earlier works like PokéDevotion and Vaporeon Drip, Flareon Bliss, and a tribute to the rebellious, unfiltered energy that drives my poetry. Above all, it’s a wink to fellow poets: I’m just playing, and I love you.

Done Being Humble III
Poetry by Rowan Evans

My cringiest shit—
is better than your best lines.
My free-verse—
has more rhythm than your best rhymes.
My worst ideas—
leave your cleverest in the dust.
My chaos—
writes its own applause.

Yeah—
I’ve told you twice already.
I’m done bein’ humble,
and I fuckin’ mean it.
Don’t compare yourself to me,
you’ll be sorely disappointed.
‘Cause I’m the best to ever do it.
Pen or keyboard,
it doesn’t matter anymore.
I’ve been writing since I was 13,
here I am one year past 34.

That’s 35, if you didn’t know.
Can you do that math?
That’s 22 years, and thousands of rhymes—
free-verse lines, I’ve mastered them.
Remixed, flipped and pieced them back together.
I wrote Pokérotica, Vaporeon Drip, Flareon Bliss,
and somehow made it work though,
you wrote your raw feelings—
they came out like a fuckin’ joke, bro.

While, I told my muse—
if she gave me a Chansey,
I’d make her feel Blissey.
Told her I won’t Leafeon.
No doubts, I wouldn’t Leavanny.
I’d wrap her in PokéDevotion, Swadloon,
because I’m Rhyperior
to the idiots and assholes.

I could do one better—
watch me propose,
with a Pokémon joke.
Girl, give me your ring finger—
I’ll put the fattest Regirock on it.
I’ll get down on bended knee,
present the Ursaring.
Will you marry me, teddybear?
My Teddiursa, swear I’d never do a thing
to hurt ya.

And I can do it, fast or slow.
Internal rhymes or no.
Because that’s the way,
Slim & Shady made me.
I can spin it gothic,
I can spin it tender.
I can be the light, the dark,
the in-between.
The King or Queen,
it matters not,
when you’re confronting
the poet and the rot.

I wrote the bones that refused to break,
the stars that trembled for the ones, for which I ache.
I turned confession into gospel,
gothic into devotion,
and every fractured girl into a cathedral
I kneel before.

I birthed a whole damn genre
while you were still trying to rhyme “pain” with “rain.”
Neo‑Gothic, Confessional, Romantic—
yeah, that flame? That’s me.
I’m the heretic who lit the match,
and you’re just choking on the smoke.

Now, that’s what you get—
when you fuck with
the Luminous Heretic,
and the Fourfold Flame
of this poetry game.
I’m the fuckin’ best,
Rowan Evans…
remember the name.

And I’m just playin’, fellow poets.
You know I love you.

Journey into the Hexverse

[Done Being Humble]
A defiant, unfiltered ode to self-worth and poetic mastery, Done Being Humble is Rowan Evans at their most unapologetic—twenty-two years of ink, fire, and evolution distilled into a lyrical declaration of power.

[Done Being Humble II]
Rowan Evans declares their god-tier mastery of the pen in Done Being Humble II, a bold, unapologetic ode to Neo-Gothic Confessional Romanticism.