Introduction

Recently, I’ve seen a lot of people online talking about love—what it is, what it should be and what it feels like. A lot of it makes it sound like love should be a fairytale, or something effortless. I wanted to share my own take: what love really is, from my perspective. This is my manifesto.

Love Is Choice: A Manifesto
Manifesto by Rowan Evans

Love is not a fairytale.
It is not magic, destiny, or some effortless, perfect emotion that simply exists.
Love is work.
Love is patience.
Love is showing up, again and again, even when it is hard, even when it is mundane, even when it is inconvenient.

Love is choice.
It is the decision to walk beside someone, to carry their weight with them—not instead of them, but alongside them.
It is the conscious commitment to witness, honor, and respond to who they are, fully, unedited, and without trying to fix what isn’t broken.

Love is active.
It is listening when words are hard to find.
It is staying present when life shakes everything apart.
It is forgiving, learning, compromising, and holding space without judgment.

Love is honest.
It does not gloss over pain or disappointment.
It does not pretend every moment is blissful or effortless.
It sees the darkness, acknowledges it, and chooses to stay.
It sees the light, celebrates it, and nurtures it.

Love is courageous.
It is daring to be vulnerable, to give your heart fully without demanding repayment.
It is resisting the temptation to escape when the weight is heavy, the storm is loud, or the moment is uncomfortable.
It is understanding that enduring love is not measured by feeling, but by action.

Love is sacred.
It is not about ownership, perfection, or control.
It is about respect, devotion, and the sacred trust that comes from seeing someone in their entirety and still choosing them.

Love is worth the ache.
The effort is not a burden—it is proof of devotion.
The work is not punishment—it is a labor of care.
The challenges are not failures—they are the evidence that love is real.

Love is choice.
Love is effort.
Love is presence.
Love is not a fairytale—but it is extraordinary, transformative, and alive in the everyday, ordinary moments that are shared with intention.

If you’re looking for more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]