Poetry by Rowan Evans

There are nights when the weight feels unbearable. When the shadows whisper louder than hope. This poem isn’t a goodbye. It’s a warding spell. A ritual of naming pain so it doesn’t consume me in silence.

I offer it to anyone who’s ever stood on the edge and still found a reason to keep walking.

This is for you. For us. For all of us who burn—but refuse to burn out.

“Flirting with Oblivion”
☽ Poetry by Rowan Evans ☾

Mom, I know you’re reading this—
But please don’t cry,
’cause the Kurt Cobain way
crossed my mind last night.

And Dad, I know you’re watching over me—
Wondering why, when I carry such a light,
Do I still ache like I want to kiss the night,
Spend forever in a pine box.

But here’s the truth, I always want to say—
Goodbye, end the pain, but something in me…
Something louder than the scream,
It holds on tight to life, like I was living a dream.

I still walk, even when my feet feel heavy,
I still talk, even when the words drip with ache—
Soul deep, and searing.
I still write, like it’s only way I’ll survive—
But maybe, I won’t.

Maybe I’ll go—
Just like my mother in poetry,
I’ll leave on my terms.
But before I do,
I want to leave behind these words:

To the ones who feel like ghosts in daylight,
Who smile while their ribs crack beneath the weight—
I see you.
I was you.
Maybe I still am.

This ache you carry,
it doesn’t make you broken—
it makes you real.
You bleed in verses.
You cry in lowercase.
But you live—oh gods, you live.

And if tonight is hard—
If your heart is begging to be quiet—
Let this be your lullaby:

You are not too much.
You are not unworthy.
You are not the scream you swallowed.

You are the flame
fighting to stay lit in the storm.
And that fight?
That’s holy.

So if you’re tired, rest.
If you’re hurting, speak.
If you’re fading, reach.

Not because the pain doesn’t matter—
But because you do.
And even if I go,
You’ll still have these words.
You’ll still have this cathedral.
You’ll still have you.

And you are enough…

And maybe I scared you
with all this talk of endings.
But hear me now—
this is not my goodbye.

This is me
naming the shadows
so they don’t swallow me.

This is me
pouring the poison into the chalice,
not to drink—
but to purge.

I am still here.
Still burning.
Still building cathedrals
out of ache and ink.

And yes, some nights I flirt with oblivion—
but I never take it home.
I walk past the edge
and come back with poems.

Because I am made
not just to feel—
but to witness.

Not just to ache—
but to hold space.

So if you need me—
if you’re standing on that same edge—
look for the flame.
I’ll be there.
I always am.

The Gospel of Softness
The Scourge They Named in Whispered Psalms

💌 If this poem resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment, share it with someone navigating the dark, or subscribe for more softness in your inbox.

🔥 And if tonight is heavy: stay. Please. You are needed. Your survival is sacred.

🕯️ If you’re struggling, please read this:

You matter. Your pain is real. Your story is not over.
Here are some resources—because your flame is worth protecting:

🇺🇲 United States

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988
https://988lifeline.org
Free, 24/7 support for emotional distress and mental health crises.

Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741
https://www.crisistextline.org

—

🇬🇧 United Kingdom

Samaritans – Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
https://www.samaritans.org

—

🇦🇺 Australia

Lifeline Australia – Call 13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au

Kids Helpline (ages 5–25) – Call 1800 55 1800
https://www.kidshelpline.com.au

—

🇨🇦 Canada

Talk Suicide Canada – Call 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645
https://talksuicide.ca

—

🇵🇭 Philippines

Hopeline Philippines
Call: 0917 558 4673, (02) 8804 4673, or 2919 (toll-free for Globe & TM)
https://www.hopelineph.com

—

🌍 Global

Befrienders Worldwide – Emotional support in 30+ countries
https://www.befrienders.org

Suicide Prevention Wiki (International Hotline Directory)
https://suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html