Author’s Note

There are phrases people hear… but don’t always understand.

“I don’t want to be here” is one of them.

It can sound final, heavy, even alarming—but sometimes it isn’t about wanting to disappear.

Sometimes it’s about wanting relief.

From pressure. From identity that doesn’t feel like your own. From a place that feels more like confinement than belonging.

This piece is about that distinction.

About being misunderstood—not because you’re unclear, but because people hear fear before they hear meaning.

— Rowan Evans

I Don’t Mean Life
Poetry by Rowan Evans

I say, “I don’t want to be here,”
and people panic—
“Don’t say that,” they shout
as I struggle to find a way out.

They worry—
thinking the words
mean death.

But really—
I just want to lift
the weight
from my chest.

When I say
I don’t want to be here—
I don’t mean life.
I mean this place.

These borders
that have become
a cage.

Do you know
what it’s like—

to carry this weight?

To feel fake,
filled with self-hate,
all because of
where you’re from?

They say
I should be
more like them.

Handed labels,
identity described—
just an American
in their eyes.

But I’ve never
felt like that
in my life.

Journey into the Hexverse!

[Of No Single Nation]
What if belonging isn’t tied to where you’re from? Of No Single Nation explores identity beyond borders, reframing home as something found in connection rather than geography.

[Where the Tide Calls Me]
What if feeling stuck isn’t about being lost—but about resisting where you’re meant to go? Where the Tide Calls Me explores belonging, movement, and the courage to follow an unseen pull.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]