Poetry by Rowan Evans

Author’s Note

This piece is about the space between feeling something and being able to say it.

For some people, expression comes naturally.
For others, it’s learned to be dangerous.
Words get tied to consequences–
misunderstanding, rejection, being seen in ways that don’t feel safe.

So instead of speaking, you hold it in.
You rehearse it internally.
You let it echo.

1-4-3 has always been a simple code–
something that turns something heavy into something easier to carry.

But even then, saying it isn’t always easy.

Sometimes the hardest words to speak
are the ones you feel the most.

— Rowan Evans

1-4-3 (Tongue Tied)
Poetry by Rowan Evans

I bite my tongue,
trying to stop myself.
I have so much
I want to say.

I try not to speak.

In the past
words have got me
in trouble—

because I’d say
what I feel.

But life taught me—
never let them
see you weak.

So I don’t speak.

I keep the words
held in my cheeks,
as I stumble back
into retreat.

I always leave
a piece of me behind—

hoping
I’d have to return to find it,
to become whole again.

It hasn’t happened yet.

At least,
that’s what I tell myself.

But I know better—
I left a piece of me
and gone back to collect.

And still,
I choke on the words
I try to say.

It’s like I’m tongue-tied.

Open mouth.
Nothing comes out.

I just want to say—

I—

lost myself
trying to claw
my way out of this hell.

Struggling to speak—
the words in my head,
repeat:

1-4-3…
1-4-3…

And I hope,
you feel the same
about me.

Journey into the Hexverse!

[1-4-3]
A poem about love that isn’t rooted in need, but in choice. About finding safety not as a cage, but as a place where fear finally stops running—and stays.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]