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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: vulnerability in love

  • 1-4-3 (Tongue Tied) – A Poem About Love, Fear, and Unspoken Words

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece is about the space between feeling something and being able to say it.

    For some people, expression comes naturally.
    For others, it’s learned to be dangerous.
    Words get tied to consequences–
    misunderstanding, rejection, being seen in ways that don’t feel safe.

    So instead of speaking, you hold it in.
    You rehearse it internally.
    You let it echo.

    1-4-3 has always been a simple code–
    something that turns something heavy into something easier to carry.

    But even then, saying it isn’t always easy.

    Sometimes the hardest words to speak
    are the ones you feel the most.

    — Rowan Evans

    Person sitting in a dim room holding back words with faint glowing 1-4-3 numbers symbolizing unspoken love.
    Some words echo louder in silence than they ever could out loud.

    1-4-3 (Tongue Tied)
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I bite my tongue,
    trying to stop myself.
    I have so much
    I want to say.

    I try not to speak.

    In the past
    words have got me
    in trouble—

    because I’d say
    what I feel.

    But life taught me—
    never let them
    see you weak.

    So I don’t speak.

    I keep the words
    held in my cheeks,
    as I stumble back
    into retreat.

    I always leave
    a piece of me behind—

    hoping
    I’d have to return to find it,
    to become whole again.

    It hasn’t happened yet.

    At least,
    that’s what I tell myself.

    But I know better—
    I left a piece of me
    and went back to collect.

    And still,
    I choke on the words
    I try to say.

    It’s like I’m tongue-tied.

    Open mouth.
    Nothing comes out.

    I just want to say—

    I—

    lost myself
    trying to claw
    my way out of this hell.

    Struggling to speak—
    the words in my head,
    repeat:

    1-4-3…
    1-4-3…

    And I hope,
    you feel the same
    about me.

    Journey into the Hexverse!

    [1-4-3]
    A poem about love that isn’t rooted in need, but in choice. About finding safety not as a cage, but as a place where fear finally stops running—and stays.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Before I Say It – A Poem About Love, Hesitation, and Wanting to Mean the Words

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    Some words carry weight.

    I’ve said them before in lighter seasons, when the feeling was warm but feeling. This time feels different. This time, I want to be certain before I let them leave my mouth.

    This poem is about hesitation – not because I’m unsure of you, but because I want the words to be true when I say them.

    — Rowan Evans

    Person standing quietly at a cliff edge overlooking a calm ocean at sunset.
    Some words are worth waiting to mean.

    Before I Say It
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I dance around them—
    the words I want to say.
    One letter followed by four,
    finished by three.
    It’s funny to me,
    this fear that grips my chest.
    I try my best
    to push it out,
    to keep it down.

    I bite my tongue
    so the words won’t come out.
    Even though,
    I’d stand on the ledge
    and shout.
    I’d scream it out.
    If I wasn’t so—

    scared.

    But what am I afraid of?
    What is it exactly,
    that makes this anxiety
    attack me?

    It’s the feelings inside,
    they feel brand new.
    Like nothing
    I’ve ever experienced.
    Sure, I have had
    crushes before—
    but this feels
    different.

    I’ve said—
    1-4-3 before,
    with ease.
    Easy as
    a summer’s breeze,
    with a warmth to match.
    But the feelings
    weren’t attached.

    But with you,
    the words hit my teeth—
    fall into retreat,
    because I want to be sure.
    I want to know
    that these feelings,
    that I’m feeling—
    these moths in my stomach,
    fluttering toward
    the flickering light
    inside my mind,
    the thoughts of you.

    I want to know
    they’re true.
    Because I never
    want to lie to you.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [Library of Ashes]

  • Before the Words – A Poem About Saying “I Love You”

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece lives in the space between feeling something and saying it out loud. The moment before confession. The hesitation that isn’t rooted in doubt, but in understanding the weight of certain words.

    It’s about needing your own permission before you speak. About knowing that once something is said, it can’t be unsaid. And about realizing that sometimes the only way forward is through the risk.

    Some words change everything.
    Some words reveal what was already there.

    — Rowan Evans

    A softly lit writing desk at night with an open notebook and pen, symbolizing vulnerability and a love confession.
    Some words are heavy.
    Some risks are worth taking.

    Only One Way to Find Out
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    They told me to close my eyes,
    asked me, describe what I see—

    I see a vision of beauty,
    radiant and true.
    I see an angel’s face
    with a devil’s mind—

    You’re one of a kind.

    They told me to take this pen,
    write down everything
    that I feel. But what if,
    what I feel is too real?
    So I negotiate with myself,
    try to strike a new deal.

    Because I’ve got—
    so many things, I want to say.
    But I need my own permission,
    to undertake this mission.
    Because once pen touches paper,
    and ink bleeds across the page—
    it’ll twist into confession.

    What if I slip
    and I say,
    I love you?

    What would I do?

    How would I
    protect myself
    from this?
    If a simple
    four letter word
    slipped—

    would it end everything,
    or be a new beginning?

    I guess
    there is only
    one way
    to find out—

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]