Poetry by Rowan Evans

Author’s Note

This poem wasn’t planned.
It wasn’t outlined.
It wasn’t even politely invited.

It showed up at 6:58 AM, unannounced, fully formed, and absolutely determined to be written. I was trying to go back to sleep, but the first nine lines kept repeating in my head like a notification I couldn’t clear. So I got up, opened my notes, and twenty‑two minutes later this entire piece existed.

It’s not deep.
It’s not symbolic.
It’s not part of a series.

It’s just what happens when my brain decides to roast someone using the language of literature and refuses to let me rest until I write it down.

Most of my recent work has been heavy, reflective, rooted in longing and transition. This one is… not that. This is me having fun. This is me letting the metaphorical knife out for a morning stroll. This is me, writing the poetic equivalent of a one‑star Goodreads review for a person who deserved it.

If you’re here for emotional devastation, don’t worry — I’ll get back to that soon.
But for now, enjoy this brief intermission of petty, poetic chaos.

— Rowan Evans

Content Warning
Poetry by Rowan Evans

I’m going to tell you like it is,
if I don’t like you—
I’m going to say it quick.

I read you like a book,
the moment you entered my view.
I read you like my favorite series,
finished in a day—

but you’re a book, full of plot holes.
Your narrative is flawed.

Your dialogue is forced,
your motives unclear,
your character arc
never quite lands, dear.

I don’t need a sequel
to know how this ends.
Some stories fall apart
before the final page—
and yours was unraveling
from the start.

Your thoughts are typos,
in need of rewrite, bro—
editor should have lost their job, too.

How were you released to the public?

Your plot twists fall flat,
your pacing drags,
your themes contradict
every claim you make.

What genre are you even in?

You’re a draft
that never should’ve passed
the first round of edits—

a story stitched together
with clichés and guesswork.

I’ve read fanfiction
with tighter structure
and more believable motives.

You’re not a novel—
you’re a warning label
masquerading as prose.

You should come with a content warning:

This content blows.

Journey into the Hexverse…

[The Monster in the Margins]
Drawing inspiration from horror icons like Michael Myers, Ghostface, Freddy Krueger, and Pennywise, this poem explores the darker side of creativity—where inspiration becomes an unstoppable force lurking just beyond the edge of the page.

[Director’s Commentary]
Director’s Commentary is a self-aware free verse poem that turns the poet’s recurring metaphors into the subject itself, exploring creativity, artistic habits, and the humorous inner critic that follows every writer from draft to draft.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]