Author’s Note

There’s a difference between disliking a place… and feeling fundamentally misaligned with it.

This piece isn’t about hatred. It isn’t about believing one country is morally superior to another.

It’s about disconnect.

About living somewhere your entire life while still feeling emotionally, culturally, and spiritually out of phase with it.

I’ve written about this feeling for years now in different forms: through oceans, through maps, through eastward imagery, through sleep schedules that drift toward different time zones, through the idea of being “from” somewhere but not truly “of” it.

And the older I get, the more I realize this feeling was never temporary.

It wasn’t rebellion. It wasn’t escapism.

It was direction.

Some people spend their whole lives trying to become rooted where they were planted.

But some of us are shaped by movement.

Some of us were always meant to leave.

— Rowan Evans

From Here, Not Of Here
Poetry by Rowan Evans

I stood still—
between existing
and not.

I stood still—
on the streets
I’ve always walked.

Talking to the same people
I’ve always talked to.

I stood still—
that’s hard for someone like me.

I was born to flee,
not to run—
nor escape,
but to leave behind
these rigid states.

I was destined—
to map my own fate,
to tell my own story.

Since I was born
every step away from,
has been a step toward—

at fourteen,
I started running.
Picking up speed—

even though the roads
have been long,
I know the path
I’m on isn’t wrong.

But every morning,
I wake up at nine AM—
I know my sleep schedule
shifted again,
further from where
I want to be.

So I mutter to myself:

Seryoso ka ba, pero…

I’m tired.

I’m tired of fighting
a current never meant for me—

tired of existing in a place
that’s supposed to be home,
but I feel foreign—

like this is the land
I’m from—
but not the land
I’m of—

I was meant
for more,
somewhere far
beyond these shores.

Journey into the Hexverse…

[Out of Sync]
A reflective free verse poem about emotional displacement, shifting sleep cycles, and feeling spiritually drawn toward another side of the world.

[Roles Assigned]
A quiet exploration of modern life, invisible burdens, and the roles people inherit before they ever choose who they are.

[Global Takeover]
What if home isn’t a place—but something you build from the music you love? Global Takeover blends sound, culture, and identity into one borderless space.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]