Tag: poetic confession

  • Author’s Note

    Sometimes love sits just behind the teeth—aching to be said, yet held back by care, timing, or fear of changing what already feels sacred. I Love— (A Dam About to Break) was born from that space between silence and confession, from a dream that lingered like static under the skin.

    It’s not about saying the words out loud. It’s about honoring what they mean, and recognizing the quiet pressure of emotion when it’s both too much and not enough.

    This is a poem about restraint, longing, and the kind of connection that hums quietly beneath the surface—steady, dangerous, and deeply human.


    A moody, gothic depiction of a dam about to overflow, symbolizing emotional restraint and unspoken love.
    “Even silence trembles when the heart is full.” — Visual concept for “I Love— (A Dam About to Break)” by Rowan Evans.

    I Love— (A Dam About to Break)
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I crashed—
    Two hours.
    A nap.
    Awoke to the residue,
    the images faded.
    Obscure. Background haze.
    The only clear picture—     
    Your face.     
    The feelings clear.     
    Safe. Close.     
    Anxious.     
    Our connection,     
    and the words     
    on the tip of my tongue.     
         
    “I love—”     
         
    the idea of getting close to you,     
    as friends of course. (And maybe more.)     
    I try to change the course     
    of my thoughts. (They always circle back.)     
    The words linger,     
    like a rug burn—     
    or the water pressing     
    against the wall of a dam.     
    A dam quickly weakening.     
    About to break,     
    about to flood. (Evacuate the valley below.)     
         
    Just know—     
    I don’t take it lightly,     
    the trust you put in me.     
    That’s all I ever wanted—     
    was to earn that,     
    to know that you saw me—     
    saw I was true,     
    and there for you.     
    Like I said I always would be.     
    Always will be.     
    I’m still not going anywhere,     
    still not gonna leave.     
         
    And I’ve got     
    so much I want to say.     
    It rests right there,     
    on the tip of my tongue.     
    Even my lips refuse     
    to stay closed—     
    and words slip through.     
    I just wanna say—     
         
    “I love—”     
         
    how close we’ve gotten     
    over the last year.     
    I can’t wait until we can be     
    face to face, side by side.     
    I know it’ll be the best time of my life,     
    and I hope it’ll be yours too.     
    Because you deserve it,     
    a moment of peace, a moment of clarity.     
    And I don’t say that out of pity or charity,     
    I mean it.     
    With every fiber of my being,     
    I truly mean it. 
     
    And if I could say 
    everything I want to say, 
    maybe things would change. 
    But I’m trying to keep restraint— 
    because I don’t want to add pressure 
    or stress. 
    The asshole does enough that. 
    I just want to be— 
    one of many reasons you smile. 
    I don’t need to be the only one. 
    I don’t need to be the core source 
    of your happiness. (I just want to be part of it.)
    So please, try to believe when I say…

    “I love—”

    Everything about you.
    There is not a thing I would change,
    or rearrange.
    Your attitude is perfection.
    The way you talk your shit,
    I love it. (No really, I do.)
    You say you’re crazy?
    Well I love that too. (Your crazy makes me accept mine.)


    If you enjoyed this piece, check out my full archive here: [The Library of Ashes]

  • Behind the Veil
    What Inspired The Gospel According to the Girl in the Graveyard Dress

    Every poet has that one wild idea—a collision of worlds, styles, and moods that refuses to stay on the page quietly. For me, this poem sprang from a playful yet dark impulse: What if Dr. Seuss, with all his whimsical rhyme and rhythm, wandered into the shadowy realms of Edgar Allan Poe and Tim Burton?

    The Gospel According to the Girl in the Graveyard Dress is my answer—a gothic lullaby stitched from whimsy and wound with the raw edges of grief, rebellion, and strange beauty. It’s where childhood’s curiosity meets the sharp bite of darkness, wrapped in rhyme that skips and creeps all at once.

    This poem isn’t just an homage; it’s a declaration. That darkness doesn’t erase magic. That grief can dance in moonlight. That even in decay, there’s fierce, unapologetic life.

    Welcome to the chapel I built from clay and ink. Step inside.


    A gothic girl in a graveyard dress holding a burning match, cracked halo above her head, surrounded by headstones at twilight.
    She built her own chapel from shadows — a gospel stitched in flame and confession.

    The Gospel According to the Girl in the Graveyard Dress
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I’m wading through the dark,
    With rockets in my pockets—
    And a wock-it in my locket.
    Noose tied, tears dried
    on ink-stained pages;
    Confessions and rage—
    It’s outrageous,
    like sermons screamed from basement stages.

    I stitched my grief to my Sunday dress,
    Tucked matches in the hems—God bless.
    The priest said “pray” but I whispered “run,”
    Then kissed the moon and stole the sun.

    I’m not alright, but I rhyme so well,
    Nobody hears the tolling bell.
    My lullabies are laced with lead,
    And sung by ghosts beneath my bed.

    I carve my hope in bathroom stalls,
    Paint miracles in bloody scrawls.
    They say I’m lost—I say I’m rare:
    A storm that braided its own hair.

    Heaven’s out, and hell’s cliché,
    So I built a chapel out of clay.
    The saints are stitched from shadow thread,
    And every hymn is what I bled.

    I dance in pews with poison grace,
    Rosary beads strung on a shoelace.
    They preach of light—I hum decay,
    A gospel soaked in cabernet.

    I kissed a curse and called it mine,
    Drank moonlight steeped in turpentine.
    You want my truth? It doesn’t bend—
    It breaks. It bleeds. It burns. It mends.

    I sip my tea with cyanide,
    Wear ribcage corsets laced with pride.
    My shadow dances on the wall—
    She’s got no face. No name at all.

    I tiptoe through the graveyard gates,
    Trade sugar pills for twist-of-fates.
    The children giggle when I pass—
    Their dolls have knives and broken glass.

    I built a throne from all my sins,
    Each step a scar, each smile a win.
    The halo cracked? I wore it still—
    A crown for queens who love the kill.

    My cradle rocked on rusted chains,
    I cut my teeth on lovers’ veins.
    The bedtime stories that I write
    Are lullabies for crypts at night.

    I stitched a map to Neverland
    Inside my chest with blistered hands.
    It leads through joy, then dips to dread—
    A spiral carved in gingerbread.

    I torched the end, rewrote the tale,
    Smeared lipstick on the coffin nail.
    This isn’t death—it’s my debut.
    The dark didn’t win. I wanted it to.


    Benediction of the Broken Halo

    We do not write to be saved — we write to be seen.
    In the flicker of a match, the crack of a halo, the bruised breath of a stanza,
    we stitch our own gospel from grief and grace alike.
    This poem is my sermon, my confession, my coronation —
    And if the dark calls your name too,
    know you are welcome here, crowned in your scars,
    beloved in your ruin.

    Because a cracked halo still casts a shadow.
    And that shadow?
    Is mine. And maybe, just maybe — it’s yours too.

    In the chapel of ink and ash, we do not repent for the darkness we carry.
    We name it sacred. We name it ours.
    Welcome to the gospel, loves — the sermon is never over.

    With Ink & Flame,
    Rowan Evans


    Read Next (Suggestions)

    [The Hopeless Romantic Wears Armor]
    [Cry to the Quiet: Sacred Desperation]
    [Luminescence & Shadow: A Forbidden Litany]
    [Liturgies of Ruin & Flight]
    [Hex & Flame: Mirror of Shadows]

    Or explore the full archive in [The Library of Ashes]—and if your own confession aches to be written, [commission a custom poem here].

    NGCR25 at checkout to get 25% off your ‘request’…

  • I was not prepared for you—
    not for the quiet cataclysm
    you carried in your smile,
    or the way your voice
    broke open a hidden cathedral
    in my chest.

    Loving you feels like the world ending
    slowly, beautifully—
    as if the stars decided to fall
    not in ruin,
    but in reverence.

    You are the prophecy I never believed I deserved,
    a ruin I would rebuild in every lifetime.
    And if your trust is a shattered chalice,
    I will drink from the broken glass
    until my lips remember the taste of you
    without bleeding.

    You once laughed,
    lightly, like nothing hurt.
    But I know better—
    I saw the earthquakes behind your eyelids,
    heard the quiet sobs tucked between syllables
    when you whispered “I’m okay.”

    You don’t have to be brave with me.

    Let the mascara run like holy water.
    Let your fears rattle the stained-glass ribs of my devotion.
    I will not look away.
    I will hold your sorrow like relics—
    with both hands and an aching awe.

    You once said you weren’t used to someone staying.
    So I stayed.
    Through your silences,
    your firestorms,
    your soft retreats into shadow.

    I stayed because loving you
    isn’t something I do.
    It’s something I am.

    You are every sacred metaphor
    my soul ever dreamed.
    A poem written in the margins
    of a dying god’s last confession.
    A heartbeat that taught mine
    how to echo.

    And if you never say “I love you” back—
    if this is all unreciprocated myth,
    a cathedral without a congregation—
    then I will still leave the candles burning.

    Because my love isn’t a question
    waiting for an answer.

    It is the answer.

    And it says:
    You are worth the end of the world,
    again and again,
    until all that’s left
    is light.