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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: vulnerability poetry

  • Lingering, Not Lost – A Poem About Mental Retreat and Choosing to Stay

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    I’ve learned that when I care deeply, I sometimes pull back instead of leaning in. This piece is me noticing that reflex in real time – and choosing not to let it define me.

    Lingering isn’t the same as being lost. And retreating isn’t the same as running.

    — Rowan Evans

    Silhouette of a person standing at the edge of a quiet shoreline at dusk, symbolizing reflection and emotional retreat.
    Not lost. Just lingering — and choosing to return.

    Lingering, Not Lost (Mental Retreat)
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I retreat—
    when my mind
    gets messy.
    I repeat—
    thoughts on loop,
    spinning, hula-hoop.

    Saying I’m fine,
    when I know I’m not—
    I slip deeper
    into my thoughts.
    I sit in the dark
    inside my mind,
    not even trying
    to find
    a way out.

    I’m not trapped,
    I’m lingering.
    Haunting
    my own mind.
    Fighting
    my own misconceptions.
    Twisting secrets
    into confessions.

    Every thought—
    You.
    Who keeps me
    tethered,
    gripping reality tight
    so I don’t slip
    and lose my mind
    tonight?
    You.

    And it’s nothing you do.
    It’s just you, being you.

    So this descent
    is never permanent,
    but it leaves cracks—
    I know it does.

    Damage that can’t be undone—
    Only repaired
    slowly,
    with patience.
    With care.
    With staying.

    So I’ll try—
    I’ll try and pull myself free
    from this mental retreat.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Not a Need – A Poem About Independence, Intimacy, and Quiet Want

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece is about the space between independence and intimacy.
    About wanting without needing, and how that can sometimes feel scarier than either extreme.

    It isn’t a confession or a plea—it’s an acknowledgement.
    Of fear, of feeling and of the quiet hope that choosing someone doesn’t mean losing yourself.

    — Rowan Evans

    A person standing quietly by a window at dusk, bathed in soft light, reflecting on vulnerability and emotional connection.
    Wanting someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself.

    Not a Need
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    Sometimes
    it’s hard for me
    to say what I feel.

    Sometimes
    I just want to
    close my mouth,
    and not let a peep out.

    Sometimes
    I have so much
    I want to say,
    but…

    I’m scared.

    I’m terrified.
    Honestly, I’m overwhelmed.

    Overwhelmed
    by how much
    you make me feel.
    By how much
    I want…

    You.

    It’s not a need,
    I’m just fine on my own.
    But maybe,
    with you,

    it’d be better
    than being alone.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]