Author’s Note

For a long time, I assumed communication struggles were always my fault.

That if I was misunderstood, I must have explained myself poorly. If conversations became complicated, I must have said something wrong. So I learned to over-explain, rephrase, soften, clarify—constantly translating myself into something easier for other people to process.

Eventually, that becomes exhausting.

This piece came from realizing communication is supposed to be mutual. Understanding someone shouldn’t rest entirely on one person carrying the weight of translation.

Sometimes words fail. Sometimes meaning gets tangled. Sometimes people hear you without truly listening.

And sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is stop apologizing for existing in your own language.

— Rowan Evans

They Trip on Meaning
Poetry by Rowan Evans

I trip on words,
like they come
with two left feet.

But is it me—
or is it meaning?

Maybe it’s just
a misunderstanding.

I trip on words—
they never watch
where they’re going,
and I’m tired
of being blamed
for their bad coordination.

They stumble
out of my mouth,
bumping into each other,
apologizing
on the way down.

I trip on words,
and every sentence bruises.

I never learned
how to speak
without falling.

But I’m starting to think
maybe it isn’t me—

maybe it’s them.

I’m starting to think
they hear me,
but they don’t listen.

Finding meaning
in the in-between,
where my mind hides.

I trip on words,
embarrassed at first—

but I’ve grown sick
of translating myself
so much
it hurts.

I don’t trip on words.

They trip on meaning,
then expect me
to apologize.

No—
that’s fine.

The problem
isn’t mine.

I’ve already done
the hard part.

Slowed my mind
so they could try
to keep up.

I’ve already done
the hard part—
learned myself,
learned how to see
someone else.

I’ve already done the work,
taken the steps
to bridge the gaps,
to close the space
between us—

but I can’t
translate forever.

Some meanings
must meet me
halfway.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]