Tag: gothic romanticism

  • Author’s Invocation

    In every confessional verse, I trespass across sacred lines—
    naming darkness holy, letting grace bruise.
    What follows is not salvation, nor surrender—
    but something stranger, softer, and far more true:
    love that neither redeems nor condemns,
    only witnesses.


    Luminescence & Shadow
    A Forbidden Litany

    Poetry by Rowan Evans


    Angel and demon standing together at twilight among gothic ruins, bathed in moonlight, symbolizing forbidden love.
    Luminescence & Shadow: where confession becomes devotion.

    Intro:
    In the Mouth of the Divine and the Damned

    In every hymn of light, a shadow hums beneath the breath.
    In every curse of darkness, a spark strains to survive.
    We are children of paradox: the angel who aches for midnight,
    the demon who dares to thirst for dawn.
    This is our confession—carved in ash and grace,
    a love letter scrawled across ruin and reverence.


    I. Angel’s Soliloquy
    Sanctified Ache

    I dwell where seraphs weave gold into dawn,
    where gardens shimmer with dew spun from prayer,
    where hymns rise like incense—and still, my chest feels hollow.

    Even beneath these alabaster wings,
    something restless coils in silence:
    a hunger no choir can soothe,
    no benediction can quiet.

    By moonlight, I trace the ivory spires
    and wonder what waits beyond the gates—
    what secret burns in that forbidden dusk.
    In the mirror of heaven, I see my own doubt:
    halo flickering, longing trembling like an unspoken psalm.

    I close my eyes to holy light—
    and all I see is a silhouette crowned in midnight flame.


    II. Demon’s Soliloquy
    Hallowed Hunger

    I haunt cathedrals built of bone and broken vows,
    where soot clings to every breath, and ruin is scripture.
    Wings black as regret, heart scorched by eternity—
    I was forged for destruction, baptized in shadow.

    Yet even in this cursed marrow,
    I taste the ghost of something gentler:
    a warmth that coils between rage and ruin,
    a light I dare not name.

    In every ember, I see her face—
    untouched by ash, yet carrying a sorrow
    I know in my marrow.
    Her grace calls to my monstrosity—
    not to cleanse it, but to cradle it.

    I was taught to scorn the heavens—
    but my darkness bends toward her,
    like dusk leaning into dawn.


    III. First Meeting
    Eclipse of Flesh and Faith

    [Angel]
    I stepped past paradise and felt the veil break.
    Breath caught in my throat—
    she stood there, wreathed in night,
    every scar a prayer unanswered.

    Her gaze stripped me bare of sanctity;
    my wings trembled, not from fear—
    but from recognition.

    [Demon]
    I watched light cross the threshold,
    a vision I never dared summon.
    She glowed like promise, yet her eyes were raw,
    haunted by the same hunger that gnawed my ribcage.

    For a heartbeat, shadow and radiance touched—
    our pulses discordant, yet symphonic.

    [Together]
    We spoke not in words, but in exhales:
    two broken altars bending toward each other,
    drawn by the gravity of what should never be.


    IV. Dual Longing
    Benediction of Ache

    [Angel]
    In the hush of dawn, I whisper prayers
    not to my God—but to her absence.
    Her shadow stains every hymn;
    her fire warms the marrow of my doubt.

    Even grace tastes like ashes now;
    holiness feels hollow without her silhouette beside me.

    [Demon]
    In the abyss, her memory flickers like dying light.
    I claw at stone, find only emptiness.
    Every scream turns to a plea: let me see her once more.

    The weight of my damnation sharpens the ache—
    yet still, I cherish it: it means she touched me.

    [Together]
    Apart, yet bound by ache,
    our confessions echo through realms unseen.
    Even the distance becomes devotion.


    V. Fall & Rise
    Communion of Ruin and Reverence

    [Angel]
    When heaven cast me out—wings singed to bone—
    I fell; yet my heart soared toward her.
    In ruin, I found my truest prayer:
    her name, whispered in fevered breath.

    [Demon]
    When she fell, the abyss trembled.
    I caught her—not to save, but to share the fall.
    Together, we knelt in shadow,
    two exiles crowned in each other’s devotion.

    [Together]
    We kissed with bloodied lips,
    made holy what was once forbidden.
    She stained my darkness with grace;
    I inked her light with shadow.

    In our union, dawn and dusk entwined—
    not to destroy, but to create a new dusk:
    a twilight where even angels and demons
    may confess love without shame.


    Outro:
    The Gospel of Contradiction

    Call it blasphemy, call it salvation—
    but know this:
    our scars became scripture; our fall became our rising.
    For in each other’s arms,
    light loved darkness without wanting to change it,
    and shadow loved light without wanting to dim it.

    And somewhere beyond paradise and perdition,
    our confessions still burn—
    an eternal psalm of luminescence and shadow.


    Closing Note

    In the end, this was never meant to be read as doctrine,
    but as devotion: a testament to what blooms in shadow,
    what aches in light, and what love dares to name holy
    even when the world would call it heresy.

    May it find you—whether angel, demon, or something beautifully in between—
    and remind you: your confessions, too, are worthy of ink and flame.


    🔗 You may also like…

    13 Psalms of Falling
    The Bite & Eternal Thirst
    Liturgies of Ruin & Flight
    Hex & Flame: Mirror of Shadows
    Litany & Tongue: A Devotional Duet

    Or visit [About NGCR] to learn more about this movement—and if you feel called, [submit your own writing] to be featured.

    If my words speak to you, and you’d like to help keep this flame burning — or if you’d like a custom poem woven just for you (or someone dear) — you can do so here:

    Ko-fi — Poetry by Rowan Evans

  • Two confessions in ink by Rowan Evans

    “There are moments the abyss feels like home.
    So we return to the edge—not to wish for flight,
    but to see how far we fall.”
    — Rowan Evans

    These two poems were written in different hours of darkness, but they share the same marrow:
    A gospel whispered from the edge of belief.
    A confession to the sky and to the abyss alike.
    One is a prayer wrapped in doubt.
    The other, a quiet litany of almost-leaping.

    They are my sacred offerings to anyone who has ever felt broken but still breathing; to the soft-hearted heretics, the quiet survivors, the ones who keep rising even when they don’t know why.


    A solitary figure in dark clothes stands on the edge of a twilight cliff, with candlelight and distant cathedral ruins, evoking gothic melancholy and reflection.
    Liturgies whispered at the edge: devotion, decay, and the quiet rebellion of staying alive.

    The Gospel of My Decay
    (Liturgia Ruinae)

    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    “Bless me, Father, for I have bled.”
    — Rowan Evans


    I. Invocation

    It takes everything in me
    just to get out of bed lately.
    I hate this—this pain in my lungs,
    this ache in my chest.
    I sit in the dark,
    talking to God, asking why?

    Why me?
    Why do I have to bleed?
    Why do I have to bend,
    why do I have to break?

    Why is this a feeling I can’t shake?
    Don’t I deserve to be okay?
    Don’t I deserve to put a smile on my face?


    II. Confession

    Why
    the
    fuck

    did you make me this way—
    broken, alive but slowly decaying?

    And they question—
    Why don’t you believe?
    So I ask back—
    Why would I believe?

    You say God
    would never leave.
    Is that supposed to be enough?
    Is that what you call divine love?
    ’Cause it feels more like apathy to me,
    and if I could help myself, I would—happily.

    But I
    don’t see
    that happening.


    III. Benediction

    Forgive me, Father,
    for the questions I ask.
    For the softness that splinters,
    for faith that fractures.

    Still, I rise—
    not because I believe,
    but because the dawn drags me forward.

    Amen,
    even when I mean:
    I don’t know if I can.


    And yet, the night had more to confess…


    On the Edge Again
    Poetry by Rowan Evans


    I’m on the edge again,
    Standing on the ledge again—
    Overlooking the cliff, like
    I might just try and fly tonight.
    One step forward before I leap,
    Wings outstretched—
    but I don’t have them.
    So I plummet toward the earth below,
    And as I pray for peace—

    Time
    seems
    to slow.

    I watch closely—
    ground quickly approaching.
    One deep inhale,
    Eyes shut tight—
    Open them up:
    I’m in hell.

    And time,
    it moves
    so slow,
    even as I
    quickly
    approach.

    Eyes open,
    gasp for breath.
    There I am,
    still standing
    on the ledge.

    Fall to knees,
    struggling to breathe.
    Tears spill
    from my eyes
    like ink.
    So I—
    pause, rethink
    how it could have
    all ended in a blink.

    And I’m—
    on the edge again,
    standing on the ledge again.


    If these pieces spoke to your shadows, you might also find resonance in:

    13 Psalms of Falling — another prayer for the broken and the breaking.

    Litany & Tongue — where confession meets devotion.

    Vigil of the Broken Saint — standing holy and fractured at the edge.

    Or visit [About NGCR] to learn more about this movement—and if you feel called, [submit your own confessions] to be featured.

    If my words speak to you, and you’d like to help keep this flame burning — or if you’d like a custom poem woven just for you (or someone dear) — you can do so here:

    Ko-fi — Poetry by Rowan Evans

  • I was not prepared for you—
    not for the quiet cataclysm
    you carried in your smile,
    or the way your voice
    broke open a hidden cathedral
    in my chest.

    Loving you feels like the world ending
    slowly, beautifully—
    as if the stars decided to fall
    not in ruin,
    but in reverence.

    You are the prophecy I never believed I deserved,
    a ruin I would rebuild in every lifetime.
    And if your trust is a shattered chalice,
    I will drink from the broken glass
    until my lips remember the taste of you
    without bleeding.

    You once laughed,
    lightly, like nothing hurt.
    But I know better—
    I saw the earthquakes behind your eyelids,
    heard the quiet sobs tucked between syllables
    when you whispered “I’m okay.”

    You don’t have to be brave with me.

    Let the mascara run like holy water.
    Let your fears rattle the stained-glass ribs of my devotion.
    I will not look away.
    I will hold your sorrow like relics—
    with both hands and an aching awe.

    You once said you weren’t used to someone staying.
    So I stayed.
    Through your silences,
    your firestorms,
    your soft retreats into shadow.

    I stayed because loving you
    isn’t something I do.
    It’s something I am.

    You are every sacred metaphor
    my soul ever dreamed.
    A poem written in the margins
    of a dying god’s last confession.
    A heartbeat that taught mine
    how to echo.

    And if you never say “I love you” back—
    if this is all unreciprocated myth,
    a cathedral without a congregation—
    then I will still leave the candles burning.

    Because my love isn’t a question
    waiting for an answer.

    It is the answer.

    And it says:
    You are worth the end of the world,
    again and again,
    until all that’s left
    is light.