Tag: mental retreat

  • Author’s Note

    Sometimes the mind shifts slightly out of alignment. Not enough to call it depression or anxiety – just enough to feel off-center.

    This piece came from trying to describe that strange mental state where nothing is obviously wrong, yet everything feels a little disconnected. In moments like that, even a single steady thread can be enough to help you find your way back.

    Rowan Evans


    Silhouette of a person standing slightly off center at a quiet shoreline at dusk, symbolizing mental disconnection and reflection.
    Sometimes you’re not lost—just slightly off-center, following the thread that leads you back.

    Off-Center, Still Tethered
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I don’t feel like myself lately.
    Like something is a little off, maybe.
    Something in my mental health slipped,
    it’s not depression or anxiety—
    it’s something else entirely.

    I’m not sad—just disconnected,
    severed threads rest on the ground
    around me as I sit in my mind—
    mentally exhausted. Body on autopilot.
    It’s like the floor shifted slightly,
    half an inch to the left
    when I wasn’t looking.
    Now every step feels right,
    but not quite—
    like something’s missing.

    I’ve always found
    that my mind
    and the world
    didn’t align.
    So I’ve always been
    a little off center.
    But this is more than that,
    it’s like a panic attack
    without the panic,
    not to be dramatic.

    It’s like depression,
    without the sadness.
    Just heavy weight,
    overwhelm and
    lack of motivation
    in social situations.

    That piles on,
    now I’m overwhelmed
    and feeling guilty.
    So I disappear into myself,
    but there’s one thread left
    tethered to the outside—
    the one constant in my thoughts.

    It’s the same thread
    that it’s always been,
    for the last year now.
    The same thoughts,
    that have kept me grounded—
    even when my head was in the clouds.
    So it is that thread,
    I will follow
    to find my way out.


    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Author’s Note

    I’ve learned that when I care deeply, I sometimes pull back instead of leaning in. This piece is me noticing that reflex in real time – and choosing not to let it define me.

    Lingering isn’t the same as being lost. And retreating isn’t the same as running.

    Rowan Evans


    Silhouette of a person standing at the edge of a quiet shoreline at dusk, symbolizing reflection and emotional retreat.
    Not lost. Just lingering — and choosing to return.

    Lingering, Not Lost (Mental Retreat)
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I retreat—
    when my mind
    gets messy.
    I repeat—
    thoughts on loop,
    spinning, hula-hoop.

    Saying I’m fine,
    when I know I’m not—
    I slip deeper
    into my thoughts.
    I sit in the dark
    inside my mind,
    not even trying
    to find
    a way out.

    I’m not trapped,
    I’m lingering.
    Haunting
    my own mind.
    Fighting
    my own misconceptions.
    Twisting secrets
    into confessions.

    Every thought—
    You.
    Who keeps me
    tethered,
    gripping reality tight
    so I don’t slip
    and lose my mind
    tonight?
    You.

    And it’s nothing you do.
    It’s just you, being you.

    So this descent
    is never permanent,
    but it leaves cracks—
    I know it does.

    Damage that can’t be undone—
    Only repaired
    slowly,
    with patience.
    With care.
    With staying.

    So I’ll try—
    I’ll try and pull myself free
    from this mental retreat.


    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]