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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: not feeling at home

  • Quiet Devastation – A Poem About Feeling Stuck, Lost, and Out of Sync with Life

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    There’s a difference between being lost… and being aware that you’re lost.

    This piece comes from that second place.

    Where you can see the distance between where you are and where you feel like you’re meant to be—but something in you still won’t move.

    It’s not loud. It’s not dramatic.

    It’s quieter than that.

    A kind of exhaustion that sits in your chest and lingers in your thoughts—while the world keeps going like nothing’s wrong.

    And you’re left there… knowing you’re meant for more, but not knowing how to reach it.

    — Rowan Evans

    Person standing still on a shoreline at dusk, symbolizing feeling stuck and disconnected from life.
    Knowing you’re meant for more… but not knowing how to move.

    Quiet Devastation
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I’ve been lost—
    wandering.
    I know,
    I’ve said that before.

    I’ve probably
    said it a lot.

    Wandering—
    through mental rot,
    every thought
    enough to make you stop.

    Out of sync
    with the world
    around me.

    Hand on my chest,
    I pledge
    to the nonsense.

    Exasperated sighs—
    you can see
    how tired I am
    just by looking
    in my eyes.

    It’s a quiet
    devastation—
    to be stuck in place,
    and know
    you’re destined for more.

    As my mind wanders,
    my feet stay stuck—
    glued to a shore
    that’s never felt
    less like home.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Be Proud – A Poem About Identity, Disconnection, and Refusing Forced Patriotism

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece isn’t about hating a place.
    It’s about refusing to perform pride I don’t feel.

    For most of my life, I’ve carried a quiet disconnect—and what’s always surprised me isn’t the feeling itself, but how personal other people take it. As if my lack of attachment is an accusation.

    It isn’t.

    It’s just honesty.

    Be Proud is about boundaries. About recognizing that someone else’s love for something doesn’t require my imitation. And that some feelings run too deep to be argued out of existence.

    — Rowan Evans

    A solitary person standing apart from a distant city skyline under a dramatic evening sky.
    You can love it.
    I just don’t.

    Be Proud
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    It’s always been funny to me,
    the way people argue with me.
    Why does my disconnect
    affect you so badly?
    Why do you take
    my wanting to leave,
    so personal?

    If you’re proud,
    be proud—
    I don’t care,
    honestly.

    You’re wasting your breath,
    you’re wasting your time—
    because, you’re never going to
    change my mind.
    I’ve been like this
    for most of my life,
    so tell me—
    do you really think
    your opinion will
    change something
    so marrow deep?

    Look, you love America—
    I get it, I really do,
    and I wish
    I was a little more
    like you.

    But I’m not.

    And I can’t fake it,
    you can’t make me.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]