Poetry by Rowan Evans

Author’s Note

This poem is a reflection on identity, expectation, and self-perception. It pokes fun at the rigid “alpha/beta” hierarchies humans obsess over, while also embracing the awkward, complicated truth of being a loner—or a “lone wolf with no wolfly features.” It’s a celebration of existing somewhere in-between: neither fitting the molds others prescribe, nor apologizing for being too observant, too complex, too queer, too alive in your own terms. Humor and honesty are both weapons here, used to dismantle clichés and to claim space for a self that refuses binaries.

Somewhere In-Between (Neither Alpha, Nor Beta)
Poetry by Rowan Evans

Sometimes it feels like
nobody wants me around.
That’s okay though—
I don’t want me around either.

I’m so off-putting—
I’m not a people pleaser.
A lone-wolf,
with no wolfly features.

I write too much.
I don’t say enough.
Too observant
for my own good.

Everybody wants an alpha male—
Not some beta boy, beta fish,
Watch him get pissed.
Headbutting his own reflection.

Me?
I carry myself with class.
Not an alpha, not a beta,
Somewhere in-between.

I wrote this—
And I don’t know
what it means.

I write too much.
I don’t say enough.
Too observant
for my own good.

Like, everyone wants to lock-in.
Stuck in the binary—
But me? I’m a non-binary fairy,
Queer as fuck, like the ones I don’t give.

And it feels like
nobody wants me around.
That’s okay though—
I understand.

I’m too confusing.
Too complex.
I recognize a pattern,
I know what comes next.

Everybody leaves,
like it’s autumn.
Gaining distance
from the trees.

I write too much.
I don’t say enough.
Way too observant
for my own good.

If you have made it this far and would like to check out more of my work, you can find it [here] in The Library of Ashes.