Author’s Note

What happens when you stop questioning the big questions and start questioning the stupid ones?

Question Math. Question Fish. takes a perfectly ordinary equation and refuses to leave it alone. Two plus two should be simple—but apparently we’ve got corporations, aquatic conspiracies, suspicious fish classifications, and an entire Aquarium Industrial Complex to investigate.

This piece is deliberately ridiculous. It borrows the language of conspiracy theories, institutional distrust, and “wake up, sheeple” rhetoric and points it directly at things that absolutely do not need a conspiracy theory.

Because maybe the joke isn’t whether two plus two equals four.

Maybe the joke is how quickly we can convince ourselves that anything deserves suspicion if we stare at it long enough.

So question the math.

Question the fish.

Question the catfish.

And, obviously, question everything.

— Rowan Evans

Question Math. Question Fish.
Poetry by Rowan Evans

Two plus two
equals four,
or does it?

You see—
Big Math
would have you
believe—

numbers mean something—

they don’t…

numbers are a joke.
A figment, imaginary at best—
two plus two might as well
equal goldfish.

And what’s a goldfish anyway?
Fish or gold, make up your mind—
and don’t get me started on catfish,
’cause what is this shit?

Cats don’t even like water.
Now one is a fish?
Get real, bitch.

Don’t listen to this shit—
Big Aquarium just tryin’ to get slick.

One fish, two fish—
red fish, blue fish—
these companies
are lying
to you, bitch.

And how does one fish—
become two fish?
And a red fish—
into a blue fish?

You wish.

It’s Big Math
and the Aquarium Industrial Complex
working together
to warp reality—
a fish isn’t gold,
a fish isn’t a cat—
but these people think that
we’re stupid,
we don’t see what they’re doing—

two plus two
equals four,
are you sure?

Open your eyes.
Wake up.
Think for yourself.
Question Math.
Question Fish.

Question.
Everything.

Journey into the Hexverse

[The Playground]
What happens when mythology stops being something to hide behind and becomes architecture for the imagination? The Playground (Language, Metaphors and More) explores Rowan Evans’s relationship with language, symbolism, metaphor, humor, and twenty-three years of turning the page into a place where anything can happen.

[All for Me]
When thunder becomes applause, lightning turns into paparazzi, and rain rolls out a flooded red carpet, one poet starts wondering whether nature’s celebration has gone a little too far.

[Love Me From Over There]
A sharp and humorous poem about the strange contradiction of wanting someone close while simultaneously needing them to stay several feet away from your face.

[It’s Almost Like I Know What I’m Doing]
A self-aware reflection on nearly three decades of writing, discovering how rage became rhythm, pain became poetry, and comedic timing became another tool in the poet’s arsenal.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]