friendship – Poetry by Rowan Evans

Author’s Note

Pulled Away Again came from that quiet guilt that builds when you fade from people you love—not because you’ve stopped caring, but because you’re too tangled in your own thoughts to reach out. It’s about the strange duality of existing in someone’s life and yet feeling like a ghost in it, the ache of being remembered and forgotten at the same time. I wrote this as a kind of apology, but not to anyone specific. It’s for all the friendships I’ve let drift away, for all the messages I’ve left unanswered, for every time I thought silence would hurt less than presence… for every time I thought existing in my head was easier than simply existing in the world.

A solitary figure dissolving into shadows, with golden light tracing cracks across them, symbolizing introspection, isolation, and the hidden beauty of brokenness. — *“Pulled Away Again – exploring the delicate ache of distance, memory, and friendship through introspection and confession.”*

Pulled Away Again
(Schrödinger’s Friendship)
Poetry by Rowan Evans

Fuck… I pulled away again—
disappeared into shadows,
became a bad friend.

I don’t keep in touch,
and I know it sucks.
But,
what am I supposed to say?
I’m sorry,
but you’ll tell me
I don’t need to apologize…

And I know,
the sorry’s not for you.
It’s for me,
because I feel like a bad friend.
I feel like the sad friend.

The…
nobody really
wants around friend.

The giver,
the lover,
the seer
of broken things.
The seer of beauty
in all the broken things.

I see the gold
that fills the cracks.
But only in others.
Those Kintsugi souls,
they shine so bright.

While I just feel trapped…
while I sit here still cracked,
pieces scattered, never put back
together.

Fuck…
I pulled away again,
isolated, faded from perception.
Because I feel…
You’re better off without me.

I’ll amount to nothing,
And I know
I’m not the only one
that doubts me.

Fuck…
I don’t keep in touch,
and I know it sucks.
Yeah, I know,
every—
I’m sorry…
It’s not for you.
It’s for me.

Because I feel
like I’m a bad friend.
The out of sight
out of mind friend.
The one nobody remembers,
but somehow not forgotten.

It’s a—
Schrödinger’s Friendship.
I’m both in your life
and not.
I am just walking rot.

Sorry for everything
I’ve never said,
sorry for every moment,
every thought.
Especially the thoughts
I thought I forgot.

I’m sorry for the way
I fade
into obscurity.
You’re always on mind
but I’m afraid
of what I’ll say.

Will today be the day?
Will I finally I slip up?
Say something stupid,
and fuck it up?
Be just another disappointment—
A regret etched in history,
a blemish on an otherwise
positive memory.

I’m a face
you can’t place.
A name
that rings no bells,
rings no memory.
I am
my own
worst enemy.

If you’ve made it this far, why don’t you check out more of my work? You can find the full library [here].

🌒 Invocation
For the Wounded and Weary

Come, you who ache quietly,
you who carry grief like a second skin.
Enter this space —
not to be fixed,
but to be witnessed.
This is not a cure,
but a candle.
Let it flicker for you.

Pastel sunrise breaking through grey clouds over a misty landscape, symbolizing hope and solace. — *Hope shines brightest through the darkest clouds — ‘You’re Not Alone,’ a poem by Rowan Evans.*

You’re Not Alone
Poetry by Rowan Evans

In the pastel shades of a world painted grey,
I see you standing, lost, in the fray.
When the weight of your sorrow feels too much to bear,
Know I’m here with you, always, I swear.

Through the storms that rage, the endless rain,
When your heart feels heavy, suffocated by pain,
I’ll be your shelter, your place to rest,
When you feel you’ve given all, I’ll give my best.

You’re not alone in this shadowed night,
Together we’ll chase away the fear, ignite the light.
For every tear that falls, I’ll catch it in my hand,
And plant a seed of hope where despair used to stand.

When the world feels too sharp, too jagged to touch,
And even breathing feels like asking too much,
Know that I’m here, a whisper, a friend,
A quiet presence with an ear to lend.

I’ll shoulder your pain, take some of the load,
Walk beside you on this harrowing road.
When the clouds seem too thick and the sun’s lost its glow,
Remember my voice, my promise: you’re not alone.

In the darkest hours when your soul feels small,
I’ll be in your corner, catch you when you fall.
For even when you feel you’re at the end of your fight,
I’ll be the flame that rekindles your light.

So, lean on me, friend, and trust in this bond,
We’ll walk through the rain, from dusk until dawn.
Together, we’ll face whatever may come,
You’re not alone—you’re never on your own.

🌓 Benediction
For the Ones Still Holding On

Go now with the knowing:
You are not too much.
You are not too broken.
You are not alone.
And even when your hands shake,
you are still worthy of being held.
Let the poem walk with you awhile.

Read Next (Suggestions)

[Tip the Chair] — Neo-Gothic Confessional Poem
[The Gospel According to the Girl in the Graveyard Dress] — Neo-Gothic Confessional Poem
[The Hopeless Romantic Wears Armor] — Neo-Gothic Confessional Romanticism Poem
[Luminescence & Shadow: A Forbidden Litany] — A Neo-Gothic Confessional Narrative Poem
[A-Woman (Confessional at the Altar of Her)] — A Neo-Gothic Confessional Romanticism Poem

Or explore the full archive in [The Library of Ashes]—and if your own confession aches to be written, [commission a custom poem here].

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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: friendship

Pulled Away Again – Confessional Poem on Friendship, Guilt, and Self-Doubt | Rowan Evans

You’re Not Alone | Rowan Evans — A Poetic Promise of Hope & Support