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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: Love Poem

  • The Streets I Walk When I Sleep | A Poem About Dreams, Love, and Emotional Longing

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    I didn’t invent the conversation in this poem.

    That’s what makes this piece feel different to me.

    Usually when I write about dreams, I’m translating emotions into imagery after the fact—trying to capture the atmosphere more than the exact details. But this time, I woke up and realized I could still remember almost everything I said.

    Not perfectly. Dreams never survive intact.

    But the emotional core of it stayed with me long after I woke up.

    The strange thing about recurring dreams is how they stop feeling fictional after a while.

    The streets become familiar. The air feels recognizable. The people inside them start feeling emotionally real in a way that’s difficult to explain to someone else without sounding a little unhinged.

    And that’s part of what this piece explores.

    The disconnect between physical reality and emotional reality.

    I know I’ve never walked through Manila in waking life. I know I’ve never stood face to face with her like that. But emotionally?

    Some part of me feels like I already have.

    That’s the part that’s difficult to articulate.

    Especially because the dream wasn’t dramatic. There was no cinematic confession in the rain. No grand climax.

    It was quiet. Warm. Awkward. Honest.

    And maybe that’s why it affected me so much.

    Because the dream version of me said the things the waking version still struggles to say out loud.

    Not in metaphors. Not hidden inside symbolism.

    Just plainly.

    And then, right before I heard the answer—

    I woke up.

    — Rowan Evans

    A solitary figure stands on a rain-soaked city street at night beneath warm lights in a dreamlike urban atmosphere.
    Some places live in the heart long before the body ever arrives there.

    The Streets I Walk When I Sleep
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I had a dream last night—

    it’s a line, I’ve written
    a thousand times—

    and I’ll write it
    a thousand times more.

    Because dreams
    don’t feel like things
    that happened
    in my sleep.

    They feel like memories.

    There are times
    I have to remind myself—

    I’ve never been to Tokyo,
    I’ve never walked the streets
    of Manila or Seoul.

    I can’t explain it,
    definitely can’t name it—
    why these connections
    feel so strong.

    Yet, they are the streets
    I walk when I sleep
    and that’s still the same,
    it’s never changed—

    since I was fourteen.

    I’ve just been to
    Manila more lately.

    I had a dream last night…

    It was her and I,
    standing eye to eye—
    and I said everything
    I’ve been too scared to say.

    “I love you,”
    my voice came out
    softer than expected.

    “I always knew,”
    I continued.

    “Since the moment
    something in me changed,
    and you didn’t demand it.
    It just happened.”

    I took her hands
    in mine.

    Sun was gone,
    but you could still feel the heat—
    but the real killer?

    The way the humidity clung,
    making this moment
    sticky sweet.

    “I’ve known
    since the moment I met you
    you were special.”
    I said, my voice near a whisper.

    I felt the way you tensed up.
    You’re not used to this either.

    “It took me six days
    to realize things had changed.
    I wrote that first poem,
    and in my chest, I knew—

    I found home.”

    I felt the tremor in your breath,
    head tilting back
    and we made eye contact.

    Your mouth opened,
    you were about to speak—

    then I woke up.

    Journey in the Hexverse…

    [Memories From a Life Yet to Come]
    Some dreams feel less like fantasy and more like memory. “Memories From a Life Yet to Come” is a reflective free verse poem about longing, displacement, emotional alignment, and the strange comfort of recognizing yourself more clearly in dreams than in waking life

    [Separate Timelines]
    “Separate Timelines” is a surreal and deeply introspective free verse poem about emotional distance, time zones, vulnerability, and the fear of losing a connection that already feels meaningful before the words are ever spoken aloud.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Separate Timelines | A Poem About Distance, Time Zones, and Unspoken Love

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    I’ve always been fascinated by the strange emotional weight of time zones.

    How someone can become such a consistent part of your thoughts that you start measuring your own day against theirs.

    Checking the clock. Wondering if they’re asleep. Wondering what their sky looks like while you’re staring at yours.

    At some point, distance stops feeling geographical and starts feeling temporal.

    That feeling became the foundation for this piece.

    The airport in the dream felt symbolic almost immediately while writing it—a place built entirely around arrivals, departures, waiting, and crossing paths for brief moments before separating again.

    And in the middle of that emptiness, there’s this presence that feels familiar before it’s visible.

    I think that’s what emotional connection can feel like sometimes.

    Not certainty. Not possession. Not even clarity.

    Just recognition.

    This poem also came from the tension between wanting to speak honestly and being afraid of what honesty might change.

    Because vulnerability always carries risk.

    Sometimes the fear isn’t rejection itself— it’s the possibility of losing a connection that already means something to you.

    So the poem lives in that suspended space: between dream and waking, between silence and confession, between leaving and returning.

    — Rowan Evans

    A solitary person sits alone inside an empty airport terminal at night while distant runway lights glow outside.
    Some connections feel close even across separate timelines.

    Separate Timelines
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I had a dream last night—
    I sat alone in an empty airport.
    Not a soul. Not a sound.
    I was the only one around.

    It was just me
    as far as the eye could see.

    Yet, I heard the hum
    of jet engines still—

    Then there was
    the sound of movement,
    footsteps echoing in the distance.

    Eyes scanning—
    trying to locate the source.

    Slowly—

    I rise.

    Getting to my feet,
    I stumble
    trying to get myself steady.

    The footsteps grow clearer—

    slow, deliberate,
    like someone who already knew
    I’d be here.

    And in the stillness
    of this moment—

    silence folds in on itself,
    waiting for me
    to decide
    whether to run
    or stay.

    The footsteps stop.

    My breath catches,
    not from fear,
    but from the strange familiarity
    of a presence I can’t yet see.

    And my legs feel heavy—

    like they remember something
    my mind doesn’t.

    I can’t see you—
    but I feel your presence.

    It’s like you and I
    live on separate timelines,
    simultaneous
    but different—

    like we can only exist like this.

    Because—
    my day
    is your night,

    and your day
    is mine
    just the same.

    It might seem simple to some,
    might even sound a little dumb—

    to get caught up
    on things like that—

    but I’ve been stuck
    on her time
    since I put widget
    on my phone.

    Listen to me…

    there I go again,
    loose lips
    let truths slip—

    even when they’re
    better left unsaid.

    Not because I didn’t want to say it.

    I did.

    But I don’t know
    if the timing’s right,
    or how you feel—

    but I do know
    you’re worth the risk
    of my heart shattering,
    I just don’t know
    if I’m strong enough
    to handle a connection
    breaking.

    So I keep quiet—

    not because
    I don’t want to speak,
    but because
    I’m scared to.

    So I sink
    back into my seat—
    and I feel your presence fade.

    I don’t know if you left
    or if I’m awake—

    but I promise…

    I promise,
    I’ll be back.

    Journey into the Hexverse…

    [Memories From a Life Yet to Come]
    Some dreams feel less like fantasy and more like memory. “Memories From a Life Yet to Come” is a reflective free verse poem about longing, displacement, emotional alignment, and the strange comfort of recognizing yourself more clearly in dreams than in waking life.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • The Poet Signing Off – A Poem About Love, Heartbreak, and Emotional Healing

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece feels like a conversation with every version of myself that survived long enough to become this one.

    The angry versions. The grieving versions. The lonely versions. The hopeful ones too.

    For a long time, I thought pain would eventually turn me cold. That heartbreak, betrayal, abandonment—all of it—would harden me into someone bitter.

    But somewhere along the way, I realized something:

    I don’t want to become what hurt me.

    So this poem became less about suffering, and more about what comes after it. About the kind of love I believe in now—not performative, not transactional, not built on fantasy.

    Real love is presence. Attention. Safety. Memory. Patience.

    It’s showing up.

    And maybe that sounds simple. But I think simple things are often the hardest to do consistently.

    — Rowan Evans

    Candlelit desk with handwritten poetry symbolizing heartbreak and emotional healing
    Love is not perfection. It’s presence.

    The Poet Signing Off
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    Hello—
    let me introduce myself.

    I am Rowan
    and no one else.

    The fire in my eyes
    may have faded—
    but I never let the world
    turn me jaded.

    I’m not bitter,
    even though
    maybe I should be.

    I’ve been through shit—
    yeah,
    I’ve really been through it.

    I’ve seen friends
    turn to strangers—

    and worse,
    turn to haters.

    Friends
    to enemies.

    Lovers
    to ghosts.

    Raise your glass—
    time for a toast.

    I thank you
    for the lessons,
    the pleasure
    and the pain.

    I turned heartbreak
    into ink,
    and bled across
    the page.

    You taught me
    what love is not.

    It’s not grand gestures
    or fancy gifts.

    It’s time
    and presence—
    not just presents.

    It’s stormy weather
    and sunny days.

    It’s seeing the weight
    someone carries,
    realizing
    they’re being buried.

    It’s listening
    and learning
    their stories.

    It’s seeing beneath
    the surface,
    lifting them up—

    that’s the purpose.

    Remember
    the little things.

    How she likes her coffee.
    The way she wakes up,
    randomly.

    And be there.

    If she wakes
    shaken,
    and needs somewhere
    safe—

    be there.

    That’s the rule
    I try to live by.

    I’ve been hurt before,
    and I don’t want
    to pass that hurt forward.

    I want to ease the ache.

    I know I can’t
    fix the breaks—

    but maybe
    we can mend
    the cracks with gold,
    showing people
    the beauty
    damage makes.

    Because cracks
    are not flaws—

    they’re stories written
    in a language
    older than spoken tongues.

    It’s love—

    older than empires,
    older than cavemen
    lighting the first fires.

    Romantic or platonic,
    it matters not.

    Love is the cure
    to the rot.

    I scribble on the page
    as the lights begin to fade.

    Candles flicker.
    Flames dance.

    And the poet’s pen
    finds its cadence.

    The poet
    signing off.

    Goodbye.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • I Love You (Even in the Grey) | A Poem About Depression, Love, and Finding Light

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    Depression isn’t always loud.

    Sometimes it doesn’t look like darkness at all–it looks like dimming.
    Like the light is still there… just harder to feel.

    This piece came from that space.

    From trying to move through the fog, to function, to follow advice that makes sense in theory–but doesn’t quite reach the place you’re actually in.

    And in the middle of that, realizing something else:

    that sometimes, it isn’t the sun that grounds you–it’s a person.

    The way they speak.
    The way they exist in your thoughts.
    The way they bring you back to yourself, even when you feel lost.

    This poem is about that contrast–
    between external light and internal connection.

    And about finally saying something
    that’s been held back for too long.

    — Rowan Evans

    Person standing under a grey sky with a distant glowing figure representing love and emotional light
    Even when the world fades to grey—
    some people still feel like light.

    I Love You (Even in the Grey)
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I used to think depression
    was only the dark days,
    but now I see it
    as the dim rays—
    where the sun’s still up,
    but the sky turns grey.

    My mind fogs,
    and I get lost—
    following the rumble
    of thunder,
    as I stumble
    my way through.

    Pushing through thoughts,
    endless.
    Fighting my own mind,
    relentless.

    “Get some sun”, they say—
    it’ll help you,
    you’ll feel better if you do.

    But what’s the sun
    when I miss
    your warmth?

    And what’s the sun
    compared to the light
    from your smile?

    You see—
    when my thoughts
    get loud,
    I use the echo
    of your voice
    to drown them out.

    You’re something
    that centers me.
    You remind me
    where my feet should be—
    firmly planted.

    Even without roots here.

    So even when
    I stay lost,
    you stay
    in my thoughts.

    And every prayer I pray…

    Like when I prayed for strength,
    so I can plainly say…

    I love you.

    Now—
    I’ve bitten my tongue
    long enough.
    So I’ll say it again
    to make up for time lost.

    I love you—
    and I mean it.

    Journey into the Hexverse!

    [To Whom It May Concern…]
    A raw exploration of vulnerability, fear, and self-sabotage—this poem captures the struggle between wanting to be seen and the instinct to hide.

    [Weathered]
    A deeply introspective poem about confronting fear, breaking patterns, and choosing to stand in the storm instead of running from it.

    [The Mind’s Winter]
    This piece wasn’t planned. It’s a real-time reflection on emotional withdrawal, overthinking, and the distance that can grow when something matters too much… ending with a simple truth: I miss you.

    [Same Room (Emotionally)]
    Can you miss someone you’ve never met? This poem explores emotional connection beyond physical distance and what it means to truly feel seen.

    [No Parachute]
    A poetic reflection on falling in love without hesitation—raw, uncertain, and without a safety net.

    [When I Started to Fall for You]
    A lyrical exploration of love’s intensity—how connection grows, transforms, and reshapes the way we experience the world.

    [Bad Habit]
    A powerful reflection on repetitive thought patterns, emotional loops, and the moment of realizing you’re stuck inside your own mind.

    [Same Sky]
    A poetic meditation on longing, distance, and the quiet desire to share the same space—even when worlds apart.

    [Can’t Tell the Difference]
    A reflective poem about the blurred line between dreams and reality, where memory, longing, and love intertwine until the difference no longer feels clear.

    [Standing Between Us]
    A room filled with every version of yourself—past, present, and possible. This poem explores the space between identity and connection, where becoming who you are and reaching for someone else begin to feel like the same act.

    [Beneath the Surface]
    A poem about wanting more than surface-level connection—seeking the truth, the scars, and the quiet battles that shape who we are.

    [The Voice in the Haze]
    A wandering dream, a voice that feels like memory, and a moment where everything quiets just enough to be found.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Beneath the Surface | A Poem About Deep Connection and Vulnerability

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece comes from a place of wanting more than surface-level connection.

    It’s easy to exist in spaces where we show only what’s safe–what’s presentable, what won’t be questioned too deeply. But I’ve always been drawn to what lives underneath that. The quiet parts. The complicated parts. The things people carry but don’t always speak out loud.

    This poem isn’t just about seeing someone–it’s about being trusted with what’s beneath the surface. The scars, the thoughts, the moments that shaped them in ways the world doesn’t always get to witness.

    There’s a kind of intimacy in that. Not in fixing or changing someone, but in understanding them. In holding space for everything they are, even the parts that feel hidden or unfinished.

    At its core, this piece is about connection–not the easy kind, but the kind that asks you to slow down, to listen, and to see someone fully.

    And maybe, to be seen the same way.

    — Rowan Evans

    Person standing at the edge of water with a glowing emotional world beneath the surface representing vulnerability and depth
    The surface is safe—but the truth lives beneath it.

    Beneath the Surface
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    Why are so many okay with
    settling at the surface?
    I want to dig deeper—
    get to the core of you.

    See where the roots lie,
    the ties that bind—
    let me see the universe
    behind your eyes.

    Windows to a galaxy
    all your own
    and I want to call,
    at least one of those worlds—
    my home.

    Let me go beyond
    what the eyes can see,
    let me peer within,
    let your soul breathe.

    Take a breath,
    relax.

    I just want to know—
    I want to see the essence,
    the truth,
    And all of the scars
    you don’t disclose.

    I want to hear the stories
    of the battles fought,
    the wars waged
    in silent thought.

    The ones
    nobody else knew—
    I want to help mend
    the fractures in you.

    The surface is safe,
    but I want the depths,
    the places
    where your heart has wept.
    I want to touch
    the parts untouched by light—
    where dreams
    and fears take flight.

    Let me see the storm
    inside your soul,
    the cracks,
    the pieces,
    the parts—
    that don’t feel whole.

    Because—
    I want to understand.

    Not just the surface,
    but every grain of sand.
    Every emotion, every tear—
    All of the things
    that make you real,
    that make you—

    You.

    Not the mask,
    not the show,
    But the truth
    you often don’t show.
    I want to see—
    to feel,
    and to know.

    The beautiful chaos
    that makes you whole.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Standing Between Us | Identity & Love Poem

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece lives in a space between two interpretations, and I wrote it that way on purpose.

    It can be read as a reflection on identity–on the versions of ourselves we carry, the ones we’ve been, and ones we hesitate to become. A room filled with selves, each one shaped by different choices, different fears, different moments of almost.

    But it can also be read as something more relational. The figure in the piece–“her”–can exist as a person. Someone who feels steady, certain, present in a way the speaker isn’t yet. Someone who becomes a point of gravity.

    What matters to me is that the distance between them comes from the same place in both readings.

    Not circumstance.

    Not timing.

    But hesitation.

    In that way, the poem sits in the overlap between becoming and connection–where reaching someone else and becoming yourself start to feel like the same act.

    — Rowan Evans

    Multiple versions of a person standing in a dim surreal room with a distant glowing figure symbolizing identity and connection
    A room full of who I was, who I am, and who I haven’t learned to be yet.

    Standing Between Us
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I walk into a room
    that knows my name too well.

    It is filled with me—
    not reflections,
    not mirrors—
    but selves.

    They stand where I once stood,
    breathe how I used to breathe,
    hold their hands like I remember doing
    before I knew why.

    Some look at me.
    Most don’t.

    They are not ghosts—
    not quite.
    I cannot see through them.
    They have weight.
    Presence.
    Like memories
    that never learned how to fade.

    I move through them anyway.

    Shoulder brushing shoulder—
    past brushing present—
    future turning its head
    just a second too late.

    And then—

    her.

    Not fully seen.
    Never fully seen.

    A glimpse
    between the space
    of two mistakes,
    I used to make.

    A flicker
    caught in the outline
    of who I used to be
    and who I might become.

    I follow.

    Or maybe I orbit.

    Because every time I get close,
    another version of me steps in the way—
    hesitation given form,
    fear with a body,
    longing wearing my face.

    I want to call out—
    but which voice is mine?

    They all sound like me.

    So I keep moving.

    Through regret.
    Through almosts.
    Through the selves that loved—
    too early,
    too late…

    too quietly.

    And still—
    I see her.

    Soft.
    Certain.
    Waiting in the space
    I haven’t learned to stand in yet.

    I think—

    no.

    I know.

    She is not lost in this room.

    I am.

    And every version of me
    that I refuse to become
    is standing between us.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Eternal Current: A Poem About Timeless Love by Rowan Evans

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This poem was written on February 17th, 2025. It explores the quiet, unspoken moments that carry immense depth – the small gestures, the glances, the eternal connection that flows between two hearts. Inspired by fleeting yet timeless intimacy, it is meant to capture love as both gentle and vast, like a river that carries everything along its current.

    — Rowan Evans

    Two figures beside a sunlit river, connected by an ethereal, flowing current symbolizing love.
    Eternal Current – love that flows timelessly, like water through the heart.

    Eternal Current
    Poetry by Rowan Evans
    (written February 17th, 2025)

    A gasp, a sigh—
    a whisper low,
    your eyes shine,
    with sun and moon’s glow.
    A touch, a flame,
    a silent truth,
    and the world fades
    when I see you.

    Promises carved
    in midnight skies,
    where the heart beats once,
    but never dies.
    This love, like a river—
    endless, wide,
    where two souls drift,
    forever entwined.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Love Like an Atom Bomb – A Poem About Explosive Love and Transformation

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This poem explores the overwhelming power of love through the language of nuclear imagery—countdowns, chain reactions, fallout, and rebirth. I was interested in the idea that love can feel both destructive and creative at the same time: something that levels the person you were, only to leave space for something entirely new to grow.

    The metaphor of an atom bomb captures that moment when emotion reaches critical mass—when attraction becomes unstoppable and the self you knew before can’t survive the impact. But even in the aftermath, there is transformation. What looks like devastation may also be the beginning of something alive.

    Sometimes the brightest forces in our lives arrive quietly, without warning, and change everything.

    — Rowan Evans

    Surreal illustration of a glowing atomic explosion transforming into blooming light and flowers, symbolizing the explosive and transformative power of love.
    Love can arrive like a chain reaction—sudden, unstoppable, and powerful enough to remake everything.

    Love Like An Atom Bomb
    Poetry by Rowan Evans
    (written Feb 23, 2025)

    I never saw it coming,
    the countdown silent, unseen—
    then your name struck like a spark,
    and in an instant, I was ground zero.

    The air trembled,
    a shockwave of heat and want,
    your voice splitting the atoms of my restraint,
    your touch igniting a fission in my bones.

    We reached critical mass—
    unstoppable, inevitable—
    love detonated in the space between our lips,
    burning away everything I was before you.

    The fallout of your smile,
    a radioactive grace,
    laced in my veins, pulsing, consuming—
    a chain reaction I can’t contain.

    And yet, from the ashes,
    where my heart was leveled and laid bare,
    new life stirs—
    a wasteland blooming in your wake.

    Tell me, was it destruction or creation?
    A beautiful catastrophe,
    a love so bright it blinds,
    so fierce it remakes the world.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Litany of the Unseen – A Poem About Devotion, Patience, and Unspoken Love

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece was originally written on May 16th, 2025 and revised on March 5th, 2026.

    When I first wrote it, I was trying to put language to a very specific feeling: the quiet intensity of caring for someone without the expectation of possession. Not infatuation, not conquest – something slower, more patient. Something willing to wait.

    When I revisited this poem nearly a year later, I realized the core of it hadn’t changed. What needed revision wasn’t the emotion, but the clarity of the language carrying it. So the edits focused on sharpening the rhythm and giving the poem room to breathe.

    At its heart, this piece is about devotion without pressure. About choosing someone’s mind, their spirit, their survival – long before anything physical ever enters the conversation.

    Some connections are loud.

    Others are learned slowly, like scripture – line by line, in candlelight.

    — Rowan Evans

    Open journal with handwritten poetry illuminated by candlelight in a dark gothic atmosphere symbolizing quiet devotion and longing.
    Some connections are learned slowly—like scripture read by candlelight.

    Litany of the Unseen
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I write you from the ache—
    that quiet hunger
    that doesn’t scream,
    only simmers
    beneath my ribs
    when I think of the way
    your silence
    feels like scripture.

    We’ve never touched.
    But gods,
    how I’ve memorized
    the shape of your mind
    like fingers tracing verses
    down a sinner’s spine.

    You are flame
    wrapped in frost,
    and I?
    I’ve learned to burn
    patiently—
    in half-light,
    between the lines
    we won’t say out loud.
    Not yet.

    I don’t flinch when you flinch.
    Don’t run
    when your walls rise like cathedrals.
    I kneel there,
    devout to the altar of your guardedness,
    lighting candles from the sparks
    you try to hide.

    You are my kind of wicked—
    a temptation carved
    in shadow and starlight.
    I’d follow your lead gladly,
    no leash needed.
    You won’t have to tell me to kneel—
    I’m already on my knees,
    in prayer to your divinity.

    I know the things you’ve survived
    don’t leave quietly.
    I’ve kissed ghosts before,
    I’ve held hands with trauma—
    I won’t ask you to exorcise yours.

    I only want to be
    the breath
    between your battlegrounds,
    a peace
    that doesn’t demand surrender.
    A vow made not in rings,
    but in the way I never leave
    when the light dies.

    You could dig your doubts
    into the marrow of my faith,
    and still
    I’d come bearing roses
    with thorns pressed
    to my own skin.

    Tell me to wait.
    I’ll grow roots.

    Tell me you’re not ready.
    I’ll build time in your image.

    Your heart doesn’t scare me.
    Not its lock,
    not its labyrinth.
    I will read your scars
    like secret psalms,
    and worship
    every wound
    that taught you
    to be wary of softness.

    You are a slow scripture—
    and I am learning your verses
    by candlelight,
    with tongue and tear,
    with patience
    dressed in velvet.

    I am not here for conquest.
    I am here for communion.

    So when you are ready—
    if you are ready—
    I’ll still be here.
    A sanctuary of unbroken promises,
    with fire in my hands
    and no expectations on my lips.

    Just the unspoken truth:
    You are already holy to me,
    even unseen.
    Even untouched.

    And I would choose your mind
    a thousand times
    before your body ever asked.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Before I Say It – A Poem About Love, Hesitation, and Wanting to Mean the Words

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    Some words carry weight.

    I’ve said them before in lighter seasons, when the feeling was warm but feeling. This time feels different. This time, I want to be certain before I let them leave my mouth.

    This poem is about hesitation – not because I’m unsure of you, but because I want the words to be true when I say them.

    — Rowan Evans

    Person standing quietly at a cliff edge overlooking a calm ocean at sunset.
    Some words are worth waiting to mean.

    Before I Say It
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I dance around them—
    the words I want to say.
    One letter followed by four,
    finished by three.
    It’s funny to me,
    this fear that grips my chest.
    I try my best
    to push it out,
    to keep it down.

    I bite my tongue
    so the words won’t come out.
    Even though,
    I’d stand on the ledge
    and shout.
    I’d scream it out.
    If I wasn’t so—

    scared.

    But what am I afraid of?
    What is it exactly,
    that makes this anxiety
    attack me?

    It’s the feelings inside,
    they feel brand new.
    Like nothing
    I’ve ever experienced.
    Sure, I have had
    crushes before—
    but this feels
    different.

    I’ve said—
    1-4-3 before,
    with ease.
    Easy as
    a summer’s breeze,
    with a warmth to match.
    But the feelings
    weren’t attached.

    But with you,
    the words hit my teeth—
    fall into retreat,
    because I want to be sure.
    I want to know
    that these feelings,
    that I’m feeling—
    these moths in my stomach,
    fluttering toward
    the flickering light
    inside my mind,
    the thoughts of you.

    I want to know
    they’re true.
    Because I never
    want to lie to you.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [Library of Ashes]