comedic wordplay – Poetry by Rowan Evans

Author’s Note

Some poems arrive carrying trauma, existential questions, complicated metaphors, and enough symbolism to fill a cathedral.

This one showed up carrying a fucking pun.

Hedge Funds (Not My Fun) is deliberately stupid. I wanted to play with sound, names, word associations, and the increasingly questionable logic of a joke that refuses to die. Sometimes the page doesn’t need another emotional excavation—it just needs to have a little fun.

So yes, this is a poem about hedge funds.

No, I don’t actually have any.

And apparently, neither does my fun.

— Rowan Evans

A mischievous poet stands beside a giant hedge shaped like a financial graph with stacks of money hidden behind it. — *The hedge has funds. The funds aren’t mine. Therefore, the fun remains tragically unfunded.*

Hedge Funds (Not My Fun)
Poetry by Rowan Evans

I think I’m so fucking funny—
I’ll make a Big Pun,
while lookin’ like a Pimp
C—but you can’t see me,
like my name is John
and my time is now—

or at least, I hope it is.
Because I’m trying to get my funds up,
yeah, I want to get my fun up—
so I stack my funds
as high as my hedges—

get it?

Hedge Fund.

That means the money isn’t mine—

so I’m stacking some funds high,
they’re just not my funds, and—
because they’re not my funds,
they do not fund my fun, man.

Journey into the Hexverse

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

Author’s Note

Sometimes I sit down with a pen and decide I’m going to behave.

That usually lasts about three lines.

Behind These Bars (Idol Chatter) is one of those pieces where the writing gets a little cocky, the jokes start stacking up, and the references begin sneaking through the cracks. It’s playful, competitive, and intentionally ridiculous in places.

So consider this a little verbal sparring session.

No hard feelings.

Probably.

— Rowan Evans

A confident poet holds a fountain pen like a microphone on a surreal stage surrounded by glowing bars made of ink and handwritten lines. — *The meet-and-greet is over. The pen has entered the battle.*

Behind These Bars (Idol Chatter)
Poetry by Rowan Evans

Oh, look at you—
look what you can do
with a pen—it’s cute,
but you can’t win—
yet you think you can?

Damn, man—
what was your plan?
How were you going
to get the best of me?

Get in line—
get ready for the meet and greet,
I’ll sign your autograph,
cause I—

I know I’m your Idol,
American,
shape the ink like clay,
’til it’s achin’—
I’m Stronger now,
and not Because Of You,
so listen quick, remember bitch,
you’ll want to remember where you were at
during A Moment Like This—

that was three straight references
to Clarkson, Kelly—
sit down, talk show, telly.
It’s just jokes bitch, I can get silly—
that’s just how the mind
Behind These Hazel Eyes works—

jerks.

Journey into the Hexverse…

[Conductor]
A dark, intimate poem about the strange power words can have over the reader—where rhythm, rhyme, and line breaks become instruments capable of reaching beyond the page.

[Kaio-ken/Zenkai]
Two Dragon Ball-inspired battle poems about creative power, survival, and coming back stronger. Kaio-ken with a Pen brings the attack, while Zenkai (Stronger Now) delivers the aftermath: push me to the edge, and I’ll return stronger than before.

[Don’t Push Me]
A playful battle-poetry piece about turning insults into punchlines, standing your ground, and refusing to be intimidated. Don’t Push Me mixes swagger, humor, rhyme, and Rowan Evans’ signature self-aware interruptions.

[B.S.T.F.U.]
A playful battle-poetry exercise packed with insults, internal rhymes, punchlines, wordplay, and literary swagger. B.S.T.F.U. is Rowan Evans flexing the verbal muscles—not calling out anyone in particular.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: comedic wordplay

Hedge Funds (Not My Fun) | A Funny Pun-Filled Poem by Rowan Evans

Behind These Bars (Idol Chatter) | A Funny Pop Culture Poetry Diss by Rowan Evans