Author’s Note

“Money can’t buy happiness” has always sounded a little too tidy to me.

Money can absolutely buy comfort, convenience, security, experiences, and a whole lot of things that can make life easier. Pretending otherwise misses the point. But there’s a difference between making life more comfortable and making yourself happy.

Money Can’t Buy Happiness—If You’re a Miserable Bitch takes that familiar saying, argues with it, insults it a little, and then lands somewhere in the middle: money might change your circumstances, but it can’t do the internal work for you.

If you’re miserable before the money arrives, there’s a decent chance you’ll just become a wealthier miserable person.

So, yeah.

Bitch, please.

— Rowan Evans

Money Can’t Buy Happiness—If You’re a Miserable Bitch
Poetry by Rowan Evans

They say money can’t buy happiness—
and honestly, that’s half true.
Money doesn’t buy happiness,
money buys things—
and things bring happiness
for a minute it seems—
but money can’t buy happiness?

Bitch, please—
that sounds like something
somebody with money
would say—

because it’s not the cash
that brings the smile,
it’s the ease
the cash brings—

so they say
money can’t buy happiness,
but they’re only half right—

money can’t buy happiness—
if you’re a miserable bitch.

You’ve got to already be happy and shit,
so learn to love what you’ve got.
Because when the money comes,
and you’re swimming in funds—
if you’re not already happy
with where you’re at?

You’ll never be happy after that.

Journey into the Hexverse

[Sick Bird]
A short, uncompromising political metaphor that questions the fixation on left versus right when the entire system may be sick. Through the image of a collapsing bird, the poem confronts division, corruption, and the consequences of ignoring the larger failure.

[For the Youth (Remix)]
A 2026 remix of Rowan Evans’s original 2024 poem, encouraging young people to embrace their truth, recognize their worth, raise their voices, and become the light they want to see in the world.

[Rose & Ruin]
Two minimalist poems exploring the opposing forces within creativity: the thoughts we cultivate into something beautiful and the darker thoughts we transform before they have a chance to decay.

If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]