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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: self-acceptance

  • L Words & Heart | A Poem About Love, Longing, Loyalty & Being Seen

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This piece began as a joke.

    Or at least, I thought it did.

    The opening voice is intentionally playful—awkward, self‑deprecating, a little chaotic, prone to wandering off into side comments before finding its way back again. In many ways, it feels closer to how I actually think than some of my more polished or serious pieces.

    But underneath the humor is something sincere.

    I’ve never been particularly good at saying important things directly. Sometimes vulnerability arrives disguised as a joke. Sometimes affection hides behind wordplay. Sometimes the safest way to admit what you’re feeling is to make someone laugh first.

    The title comes from a simple realization: when I think about certain people, my thoughts tend to orbit the same things.

    Love. Longing. Loyalty.

    The L words.

    And heart.

    The final section is intentionally quieter than everything that comes before it. The jokes fall away, the distractions disappear, and what remains is the truth the speaker was circling the entire time: the way another person can take up space in your imagination, your creativity, and your inner world long before they ever occupy the same physical space.

    Sometimes affection doesn’t arrive as grand declarations.

    Sometimes it arrives as a face that appears when you close your eyes.
    A voice you hear in silence.
    A shoreline you keep finding in your dreams.

    — Rowan Evans

    A solitary figure standing on a moonlit shoreline while waves roll in beneath a dreamy twilight sky.
    Some people arrive in your thoughts quietly—then somehow become part of every dream, every poem, and every beat of your heart.

    L Words & Heart
    Poetry by Rowan Evan

    I’m just a quirky, mother—
    not a fighter, but a lover.
    I’m not brave or whatever,
    I bite tongues,
    holding words like lips
    with padlocks.

    I’ve never been a fan of change,
    but I want things to change—
    I want my life rearranged,
    I want to be seen as normal
    not strange—
    I want to be me
    and accepted,
    because I’m not as strange
    as you think—
    I’ve seen Stranger Things.

    (Actually, no I haven’t.
    I never got into the show.
    But I digress…)

    I’ve got things I want to say,
    got things I want you to know.

    When I think about you
    it’s all L words and heart,
    you reshaped my art.
    So I close my eyes
    and I see your face.
    In silence, I hear your voice—
    and in dreams I walk your shores.

    Journey into the Hexverse…

    [Just Beyond Waking]
    A street that feels familiar. A life that hasn’t happened yet. Just Beyond Waking explores the fragile space between dreams, memory, longing, and the quiet feeling that some futures are already waiting for us.

    [Twin Suns, Sister Moons]
    A poem about distance, longing, and the quiet pull of someone who lives beneath a different sky. Between twin suns and sister moons, the heart keeps reaching for home.

    [It’s You I Choose]
    A poem about devotion, vulnerability, and the quiet decision to stay. Sometimes love isn’t certainty—it is choosing someone anyway.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • A Balance Found – A Short Poem About Identity, Duality, and Self-Acceptance

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This poem was written on February 19th as a quiet reflection on duality within the self. We are often told to choose between parts of who we are – light or shadow, reason or imagination, strength or softness. But real wholeness comes from learning both can exist at once.

    A Balance Found is about accepting the full spectrum of who we are. The dreamer and the observer. The light and the shade. Not as opposing forces, but as pieces of the same soul that finally learns to stand whole.

    — Rowan Evans

    A symbolic image of a person standing between light and shadow, representing balance between different parts of the self.
    Finding harmony between light and shadow within the self.

    A Balance Found
    Poetry by Rowan Evans
    (written February 19th, 2025)

    Ink and shadow, light and shade,
    Both have their place, both were made.
    One to dream, one to see,
    And I stand whole—both parts of me.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • The Fourfold Flame: A Poem of Inner Multiplicity, Shadow & Sovereignty

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    The Fourfold Flame is not metaphor—it is map.

    This piece names the inner constellation I’ve lived with for years: the tender poet who feels too much, the protector who bares teeth for survival, the child who still believes in wonder, and the witch who learned how to wield fire instead of drowning in it. They are not masks. They are truths. They are all me.

    I am plural in spirit if not in body. I write from many rooms of the same soul, and each voice carries a different survival skill: softness, ferocity, curiosity, sovereignty. This poem is their first public communion. It is how I stop pretending that my range is fragmentation and start honoring it as architecture.

    The Luminous Heretic is what happens when those parts refuse to cannibalize each other anymore. When they choose integration over erasure. When the wound stops apologizing for also being a weapon.

    If you recognize yourself in this—if you’ve ever felt made of contradictions, of light and smoke and song—know this: you are not broken. You are complex. You are many. You are fire.

    Burn with us.

    Four ethereal figures representing inner selves—heart, protector, child, and witch—emerge from swirling ink amid stardust and shadow.
    We are many. We are one. The Fourfold Flame rises—stitched from stardust, scars, and sovereign fire.

    The Fourfold Flame
    Poetry by Rowan Evans / The Luminous Heretic

    I. Chorus of the Vessel

    We are one, and we are four—
    ink-stained fragments of the same sacred core.
    A heartbeat split by starlight and shadow,
    a name echoed in four directions,
    four truths spoken in fire,
    in fury, in wonder, in love.

    We are the Luminous Heretic. We are the war—and the prayer.

    II. The Heart & The Protector

    [Rowan]
    I speak in open wounds and lullabies,
    sing softness into scars that never healed.
    I ache without apology, love without armor,
    and still—I rise, bare and burning.

    [B.D.]
    Then I will be your shadow,
    sharp-edged and unyielding.
    Let them come with claws and cruelty—
    I am the ink-blade in your defense,
    the growl beneath your grace.

    [Rowan]
    They called me too much—
    so I wrote poems of tenderness,
    and let them drown in the kindness
    they could never carry.

    [B.D.]
    And I watched them choke,
    on the smoke of your fire.
    Not because you were cruel—
    but because they never learned
    that softness survives the storm.

    III. The Child & The Witch

    [Roo]
    Did you see the stars tonight?
    They winked at me like old friends.
    The shadows are scared of the dark too—
    did you know that?

    [Hex]
    Yes, little spark.
    Even monsters fear what made them.
    I walk with those shadows.
    I do not fear the dark—
    I command it.

    [Roo]
    But do you still believe in magic?
    In the wind that tells stories,
    in puddles that hold secrets?

    [Hex]
    Magic is real, love.
    I just learned to bleed with it.
    To hex with it.
    To wear it in heels and venom.

    [Roo]
    Sometimes I wish we could just play again,
    dance in the rain,
    laugh without reason.

    [Hex]
    Then teach me.
    I’ve spent so long burning,
    I forgot how to dream.

    IV. Communion of Fire

    [Rowan]
    I want to be held—

    [B.D.]
    Then I will hold you.

    [Roo]
    I want to be seen—

    [Hex]
    Then let them watch you rise.

    [Rowan]
    I am made of light, but I hurt.

    [B.D.]
    Then hurt boldly. I’ll guard the flame.

    [Roo]
    I am made of questions and wonder.

    [Hex]
    Then question everything, and never shrink.

    [All]
    We are stitched from stardust and scars,
    written in blood and brilliance,
    crafted by fire and forgiveness.
    We are many—
    we are one.

    V. Benediction of the Luminous Heretic

    We are the wound and the weapon,
    the lullaby and the curse,
    the flame and the fog,
    the whisper and the scream.

    We are Rowan. We are B.D. We are Roo. We are Hex.

    We are the Fourfold Flame.

    Burn with us—
    or be burned away.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Ghost in My Body – Poem by Rowan Evans | Survival, Mental Health & Emotional Struggle

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    This poem is not a cry for help — it’s a confession. It’s the truth about living in a body that feels too heavy, a heart that beats even when I’m too tired to hold it. For anyone who knows what it’s like to rise with no hope, no spark, just sheer stubborn survival — this one is for you. You’re not alone in the mornings that feel impossible. You’re not alone in the weight.

    Ghostly figure with glowing heartbeat, representing emotional struggle and resilience, emerging from darkness.
    “Even when the body feels heavy and the heart refuses rest, the spirit rises — a ghost in its own skin.”

    Ghost in My Body
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I awoke,
    empty of hope.
    Chest tight, eyes wide—
    the world felt
    unbearably heavy.
    I took a minute,
    recalibrated.
    I fix my face
    into something readable,
    something quiet—
    because they’ll look
    straight into my eyes,
    and still ask,
    “But… are you happy?”

    I haven’t really been
    since I was thirteen—
    the year something in me
    stopped blooming.
    Yeah, it’s been
    a lack of smiles,
    since I
    was thirteen.
    The year the light in me
    learned to dim itself.

    It’s been a
    constant struggle,
    as I’ve struggled constantly.
    I struggle to find
    my place.
    I struggle to recognize
    my face.
    Trust me, when I say
    I struggle with everything.
    Like, I don’t want to die,
    but I—
    don’t really want to be alive.
    It’s a struggle
    just to survive.

    It’s a struggle just to survive,
    carrying a body
    that feels heavier
    than I do.
    Dragging a heartbeat
    that won’t quit
    even when I’m tired of holding it.

    And yet—
    every morning,
    somehow,
    I rise.
    Not healed,
    not whole,
    just here.
    Dragging the weight,
    of a heartbeat
    that refuses to stop
    even when I want rest,
    even when I want it to.

    I’m just
    a ghost still trying
    to haunt its own body.

    But still,
    I pull myself upright—
    not because I’m hopeful,
    but because something in me
    refuses to die quietly.
    And maybe one day
    the bloom returns,
    the light rekindles—
    but tonight,
    I just breathe
    and call it survival.

    Looking for more poetry? You can find it all in the Library of Ashes.

  • Finding Confidence in a Single Moment – Poem by Rowan Evans

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    Sometimes the words we repeat aren’t ours.
    Tonight, in a single snapshot, I found the ones that finally belong…

    A picture of Me (Rowan Evans)!
    Took a picture. Looked at it. Thought… yup, I’m really fine.

    Damn, I’m Fine
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I’ve been saying I’m ugly for a while now,
    but I’m starting to think—
    those words were never mine.
    Because I took a picture tonight,
    and for the first time,
    I thought… damn, I’m fine.

    For my full collection of poems, check the archives here: [The Library of Ashes]