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Poetry by Rowan Evans

Tag: subconscious

  • Every Night, The Same Flight | A Dreamlike Poem About Sleep, Longing & Recurring Dreams

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    I’ve written about these dreams before.

    The airport. The flight. The familiar shoreline. The city streets I’ve never lived in, yet somehow know by heart.

    They return so often that they’ve become part of my personal mythology.

    Every night seems to begin the same way. As I drift toward sleep, the quiet of my bedroom dissolves into the sounds of a busy terminal. I never question why I’m there anymore. I simply board another flight, knowing it will carry me to the same destination.

    What’s strange isn’t that the dream repeats.

    It’s that every repetition feels less like imagination and more like recognition.

    I’ve never believed dreams need to predict the future to matter. Sometimes they simply reveal the places our hearts keep returning to before we’re ready to admit why.

    This poem isn’t really about airports or travel.

    It’s about the quiet certainty that some destinations seem to choose us long before we choose them.

    — Rowan Evans

    A dreamlike airport terminal blending into a moonlit tropical shoreline with a distant coastal city across shimmering water.
    Some journeys begin the moment we close our eyes.

    Every Night, The Same Flight
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    I laid—slowly drifting, I was slipping
    from consciousness to slumber.
    I was boarding that flight,
    the one I take every night.

    The journey always starts the same,
    eyes flutter, like the moths in my stomach.

    Then the sounds of terminals,
    passengers rushing pas me
    in search of their gates.
    But this isn’t an airport—
    it’s just my brain.

    The gate numbers blur,
    shifting like thoughts I haven’t named yet.
    Every announcement echoes
    in a voice I almost recognize.
    I walk toward a destination,
    unsure of where I’m going,
    but somehow already knowing—
    I’m meant to catch a flight,
    of which there are plenty—
    one for every thought of you,
    of which there are many.

    They always lead to the same place—
    always the same shores, the same bay,
    and it always feels like it’s calling my name.
    The way the moon shimmers the same,
    its reflection dancing across the waves.
    Then I always find myself wandering city streets,
    feeling the heat and humidity.
    But I would rather be, nowhere else.

    I wander—
    taking in the sights and sounds,
    bathing in the smells all around.

    I wonder—
    what would it be like if this was home.
    Yeah, what if this was my life now?

    I breathe it in,
    the warmth, the noise, the pulse—
    a life that feels borrowed,
    yet somehow mine.
    It’s a preview that I get every night—
    and I wonder if the dream
    is trying to tell me something
    I’m not ready to say awake.

    Journey into the Hexverse…

    [Where I Belonged]
    A bedroom becomes an airport in the space between sleep and waking. Where I Belonged explores liminal consciousness, uncertainty, and the strange moments when reality feels suspended between two worlds.

    [Pointing Me Home]
    The final poem in the No Metaphor Left Behind trilogy explores dreams, hope, and belonging. Through moonlight, ocean tides, and quiet conversation, Pointing Me Home reflects on carrying hope long before reaching the place you call home.

    [Caller ID: Destiny]
    Sometimes the places we visit in our dreams feel more like home than the places we wake up in. Caller ID: Destiny explores longing, belonging, and the quiet feeling that life is calling you toward somewhere new.

    [Returning to My Bones]
    Some dreams fade the moment we wake. Others leave behind emotions that linger long after reality returns. Returning to My Bones explores the strange grief of leaving a dream that felt real enough to matter.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]

  • Returning to My Bones | A Poem About Dreams, Waking, and Quiet Grief

    Rowan Evans

    Author’s Note

    I’ve written a lot of poems about dreams.

    At this point, it’s probably one of the most consistent threads running through my work.

    The reason is simple:

    Dreams don’t feel imaginary to me.

    They feel remembered.

    Not while I’m fully awake. Not after I’ve had time to process them. But in those first moments between sleeping and waking, there’s often a strange overlap where the emotions arrive before reality does.

    For a brief moment, everything feels true.

    The conversation happened. The place existed. The person was there.

    Then awareness returns.

    The room comes back. The walls come back. The weight of the body comes back.

    And with it comes the realization that none of it happened.

    That’s the feeling this poem is trying to capture.

    Not the dream itself, but the return from it.

    The title became the key.

    Because waking up doesn’t feel like opening my eyes.

    It feels like returning to my bones.

    Returning to gravity. Returning to limitation. Returning to the version of reality that can be touched and verified.

    The strange thing is that the emotions don’t disappear when the dream does.

    The dream fades.

    The feelings stay.

    And sometimes that lingering feeling creates a kind of grief that is difficult to explain to people who don’t experience dreams this way.

    A quiet grief.

    Not because something real was lost.

    But because, for a moment, it felt real enough to matter.

    — Rowan Evans

    A solitary figure sits beside a moonlit bay as the dreamlike shoreline gradually fades into a quiet bedroom, symbolizing the emotional transition from dreaming to waking.
    Some dreams disappear with the sunrise. Others stay with us long after we’ve returned to our bones.

    Returning to My Bones
    Poetry by Rowan Evans

    The moon shimmers over the bay,
    suspended in the sky—
    the way I feel suspended in her eyes.

    And it makes me feel crazy,
    because she’s never looked at me—
    not really, not in reality.

    It’s only happened in dreams.

    That’s when I drift
    between awake—
    and asleep.

    This is when
    my mind
    starts to
    wander.

    Then it snaps.

    I’m back in my room again.

    The moon loses its shimmer,
    the bay fades from view.
    My body tenses as I become
    aware again,
    of the mattress beneath me—

    of the walls that enclose me.

    I feel the weight pressing in.
    The reality of returning
    to my bones.
    It’s a quiet grief—
    realizing that the emotions
    will linger,
    but the truth is
    it never happened.

    And somehow,
    that hurts the most.

    Journey into the Hexverse…

    [Maybe You’ll Want Me Too]
    A poem about the subtle shift from knowing someone to constantly thinking about them. Through humor, metaphor, and confession, Maybe You’ll Want Me Too explores affection, attachment, and the fragile hope that being wanted might matter more than being needed.

    [Before My Feet Touch the Floor]
    What happens when your dreams feel more real than your waking life? Before My Feet Touch the Floor explores the strange grief of waking up, the lingering memory of dream selves, and the quiet question of which version of us is truly real.

    [Recognizes Home]
    A free-verse poem exploring the difference between love as dependency and love as choice. It challenges the idea that love must be need-based, instead centering the quiet strength of choosing someone while still remaining whole on your own.

    [Ocean Waves (1, 4, 3)]
    A moonlit shoreline, a rowboat full of ducks, a piggybank with no cents, and a confession hidden in plain sight. Ocean Waves (1, 4, 3) explores how humor, wordplay, and absurdity can become a side door to vulnerability when the truth feels too difficult to say directly.

    [L Words & Heart]
    A playful, self-aware poem about love, longing, loyalty, and the quiet ways another person can reshape our inner world. What begins as humor slowly reveals a heartfelt confession about affection, imagination, and the faces that linger in our dreams.

    [Just Before Waking]
    A street that feels familiar. A life that hasn’t happened yet. Just Beyond Waking explores the fragile space between dreams, memory, longing, and the quiet feeling that some futures are already waiting for us.

    If you’re interested in more poetry, you can find it here → [The Library of Ashes]